Young girl coming to terms with the big city....

Right SO!

2005-09-28T13:49:00.000-04:00

alright the new blog is mostly all set up. You don't need to be a member, so make with the comments!

http://backintothiscircle.blogspot.com

Enough with the spammers on my blog, PLEASE!

2005-09-27T10:16:00.000-04:00

All right. Seeing as no-one reads this blog anymore, I have decided to start another one.My new blog will be free from the past that I enjoyed, but that some people are just not worth dragging around or mentioning.

A new blog for a fresh start.

Yes, a fresh start has started to happen, but it will be a continuing, progressing change. I am slowly starting to learn how to be my own best friend, and how detrimental my comments against myself are. And how bloody annoying it is to anyone around me! I don’t like doing it, and so I have started to take measures against the behaviour that I need to change.
In doing so, I have successfully managed to alienate at least 5 people that were close to me at one time or another, before I started this whole hermit business. I will never have the same relationship with one of the most important people in my life, and that’s why I needed to start this whole process. I had no choice. It’s the only way that I will ever be able to reconnect with this person…..hopefully. Lord knows that I would have shut Paul out of my life, except the lucky prick (ha) gets to share an apartment with me. Which of course I am sure that he is thrilled as he is ranched.

So to you Katherine, Crys, Kirsten, Wendy, and Mackenzie: I apologize. Please know that I never did this to spite you or to hurt or ignore you, but I just had to chill the F out for a bit. It’s been over a month, and I am starting to feel a bit better about myself. I have made some lifestyle changes that I think are aiding me, and hopefully I can keep these up without creating tension (read: MORE tension) in my already dwindling relationships.
I now know, through experience and soul-baring conversations with my gurus (Joy and Bryce), what I need and how to start going about getting it.
I need time
I need space
I need people
I need peace
I need release
I need focus
I need energy
I need love
for myself.
Not all of these things happen at once, but I know that I have to start being vocal about some issues, and to relay to people that it’s not about them, it’s just how I am dealing with what I am going through at the moment and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I am optimistic, and I have a feeling that things will get better very soon (hopefully!!)

Here comes the shocker: in starting my journey of self-discovery (that I will continue well into my 30’s, I imagine!) there was this boy that I was sure was not going to ever become a permanent fixture in my life. Well, apparently I was wrong. This man is resilient, that’s for sure. He actually wants to help me with what I’m going through, which scares the crap out of me. Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
About a week and a half before my birthday, I was at Bryce’s house for Meagan Quinn’s going away party. I had a frikken BLAST (read: was intoxicated) and I spotted a cute boy, and so I shamelessly flirted. We talked for a bit at the party and he asked me for my number.
I never thought he was going to call.
He lived in Hamilton.
It had been a week.
But then on Friday,
as I was just home from an afternoon at Bryce’s,
I received a phone call.
Having asked for my email address, I was pleased!
Until I didn’t get an email from him.
In fact, I didn’t really think about it that much, as I was focusing on not being negative, and starting to work out and keep a food journal.
He calls me a week later, asking if I ever got the email.
No, I hadn’t
Well he had the wrong email address, and so he sent the email again.
He was going to be in town that evening and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out. I had Iraj’s birthday that night, so I suggested the next day.
We spent the day together, had another date the following week (after another very nice email from him) and then the week after that I went to Hamilton to see him.
And his band.
Ryan is a bassist with a Hamilton band called dodger. They are a clash of hard rock and reggae, and they are really, really good.
He challenges me intellectually, and he is the sweetest guy that I have ever met. This man is a gem, and I constantly wonder why he chose me, after six years of not having interest in anyone else.

No, he’s not gay. Thank GOD.

But this is why my life is still not completely right, but not totally in chaos: I still struggle with my feelings of self-loathing, so how can someone fall for me when I’m starting to come out of this state? Has the stench of desperation been masked by hope?

No, he doesn’t know about my last ‘boyfriend’. I shutter to think that I ever called Ciaran that. I know it must be horrible of me to say, but honestly: if you ever met him, you must have asked yourself what I was thinking! These (you have to scroll up from the comments) are the things that I look for in a mate. Ciaran was none of those things. I’m glad that he was in my life, don’t get me wrong, but it’s as though I was dating him out of boredom. Because I had nothing better to do with my life, and I was simply passing the time with this bad-kisser of an activity. I’m glad that our ‘relationship’ didn’t go far, and that it wasn’t serious at all. He taught me a lot about myself and what I need from another person in a relationship, and even though I had warbled about how I liked him and how he was sweet, etc. no one that I have ever met compares to Ryan. Not Paul (not Rivait; Frederick), not Duff (although Duff will always be my first love……but what you feel when you’re 16 and 18 is not what you feel when you’re 24 and 28).

Enough about Ryan. I’m sure that you’re sick of hearing about him already. I just needed to relay what had been going on in my life, and hopefully will continue to be a positive influence on me as I keep on my journey to self-acceptance.

*smiles*

This weekend? Well, you’ll have to read my new blog for that one.

http://backintothiscircle.blogspot.com/

I love coming to windsor

2005-09-24T13:36:00.000-04:00

all my friends have the internet!!!

ok i gotta go moon is calling me
apparently moon says hi

more on this weekend later. can't believe i'm still not hungover...

Massive update coming either this weekend or early next week!!

2005-09-23T11:49:00.000-04:00

promise.

in the meantime, please enjoy the following....Lord knows that I do.

I never thought
I could be
who I am
I never thought
I could see
where I was
I always thought
all this was
just wasn’t me
I always thought
all this was
could never be

...I always thought I’d wait here for you...

Show me how pretty the world is....

2005-09-21T16:29:00.000-04:00

Cuz you're brilliant when you try

24 years and one month old....

2005-09-15T10:52:00.000-04:00

I feel like a monkey.
or a dog.

I am restless,
like I know that something
is going to happen
and I can do nothing
but wait
and wonder
and wander
because I can’t stay still.

Work is going by
so
slowly
it’s
killing
me

I am going to attempt
to write out
a “TO DO” list
for when I get home
this evening.
I’m not sure
if it will be
accomplished,
but we’ll see.

I am suffering
from severe
disillusionment
today,
and it is merely 10:45am.
I wanted
to sleep
forever
this morning,
maybe that’s the problem.
Maybe it’s because I know
that Erin might be
coming over tonight,
or that I’m expecting someone
to phone me.

I am absolutely
restless.

Someone brought me
a Tim Horton’s coffee
this morning.
I pawned it off
on Louis;
as if I
need
the caffeine
when I
feel
this way!
I’m going to try
to ignore this feeling
for the rest of the day,
or at least until Paul
gets to work
so that we can email each other.

This
is
ridiculous.

It feels as though
my heart
is beating a mile a minute
but my pulse
is just it’s
regular
self.

I’m not happy,
I’m not sad,
I’m just anxious.

But
……
for what?

Thank you, Daniel Bedingfield

2005-09-13T12:37:00.000-04:00

Is it fair to write a song
to a woman?
Is it fair to play a try
to win her heart?
Is it right to bring her sonnets
in the morning time
to express the first few longings
when they start?

Is it right to let her feelings
rise to catch you?
Is it ok when her heart
begins to fall?
Would you blame me
if I wrapped my words around you?
Would I wrong you to say anything
at all?

But if I wrap my words around you
wrap my words around you
if I wrap my words around you
would you stay, would you stay?
If I wrap my words around you
wrap my words around you
if I wrap my words around you
would you stay?
Would it play
with your heart?

Am I a hunter
if I sample words to please you?
Am I a cad
if I mean everything I say?
Should I even let you know
this song’s about you, girl
just because I want to
see you smile today?

And my words
they bind into me
much too tightly
You may joke upon them
if we fall apart
It’s not fair to write a song
to a woman, no
Because a woman
takes a song into her heart

Trying not to cry at the office.....riiiiiiiiight.

2005-09-08T09:18:00.000-04:00

This is beautiful. And frikken sad. Be warned.

THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT
It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking ca re of his wound, we began to engage in conversation I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.

As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Although it is Hump Day, there will be very little humping.

2005-09-07T15:56:00.000-04:00

While I’m in the process of alienating everyone I care about, let me tell you this:

I hope to be a fully-functioning member of society in two weeks time.

Things are changing (hopefully); things that needed to happen WILL happen….if I’m not a lazy bones about it.

I miss the people that I used to call once upon a time, just to see what was going on! I miss the texts, the talks, and the random outings.

But at the same time, I know that I have to do this for myself. Becoming a homebody is just something that I have to go through……AGAIN. It worked in Dublin, and I’ll be damned if it won’t work in Toronto.

Once again, let me state: DO NOT TAKE MY BEHAVIOUR DURING THE PAST TWO WEEKS AS ANYTHING AGAINST YOU!

I hope to hear from you soon. *muah*

OMG There's MORE!!!

2005-08-30T16:14:00.000-04:00

WHO spells 'Human Resources' "Human Resource's"?!?!?!?!

IN AN EMAIL ADDRESS!!?!?!?!?!

There is absolutely NO apostrophies in email addresses. EVER.

oh boy that guy is a winner.

Fekkin' eejits.

2005-08-30T16:08:00.000-04:00

Honestly.

If you can’t spell OUR COMPANY'S NAME, then how do you expect to be hired here?!?!?

Losers.

I am listening to 'Line and Sinker' by Billy Talent. You should listen. It will give you all insight into this particular post.

2005-08-26T16:43:00.000-04:00

Turns out I’m bitchy.

Well, until I can fully assess and grasp the situation, everyone can blow me. I am not in the mood for much right now. Don’t take offense, because it has nothing to do with any of you. Really. I’m just a bitch for the moment, and I don’t need guys from my courier service hitting on me, or friends giving me random attitude that’s meant as a joke. I know it’s a joke, but I am seriously not in the mood. And it's not just one person, it's everyone....I still consider you my friends, and even if you don’t, then that’s not my problem. My problem right now if my bitchiness. CUZ I’M A BITCH! I will get over this shortly; now I return you to your regularly scheduled program.

Sincerely,

Your mom.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

2005-08-23T09:14:00.000-04:00

I am obsessed with Wicked. I love it. I think that Idina Menzel is a fierce goddess. I already thought this, due to the fact that she’s the original Broadway Maureen from Rent, which is what I considered to be my prize role, until I started really paying attention to this musical……Wicked is the story of the Wicked Witch of the West and Glenda the Good Witch, before they adopted these titles. Brilliant. Songs to download (my mother needs to get my brother to download them for her!) are as follows:
“Popular”
“What is This Feeling?”
“Defying Gravity” ---> this makes me want to be in this show.
“For Good”

Damn.

Such. A. Good. Show.

ugh

2005-08-18T13:45:00.000-04:00

I am busy focusing on the negative parts of my life right now, so there is nothing to write until I stop having a pity-party for myself.

A sign of things to come...... READ ENTRY BELOW FOR BIRTHDAY WEEKEND DETAILS!

2005-08-15T17:04:00.000-04:00

If your birthday is today:

There is something you have always wanted to do, something you have dreamed about for years, but for one reason or another never quite got around to. Now you must stop dreaming and make it a reality. A lot of time has been wasted but, on the positive side, you are now older and wiser and more experienced. Success is yours if you want it.

24 years ago today at 6:20am I was victorious in sliding my way down my mother’s birth canal and out into the world.

2005-08-15T17:01:00.000-04:00

Long story short: I don’t have time to write the long story. Here’s the rundown…..

Friday afternoon with Bryce: An absolute treat. We shall have to make it a weekly or bi-weekly affair. He read my tarot and I was skeptical and so we taped the entire conversation. Maybe next year it will make sense, but for now all I know is that someone is watching me.

Friday evening at Craig’s house: CRAZY! Reminded me of Booya parties, at their prime. Jagermeister gave them free t-shirts and bottles of liquor, and everyone was trashed. I, however, drank none of that swill. It was a party all around, and I had a blast. Nancy, however, ended up in Barrie AND THEN Hamilton, because her cell phone kept cutting out when I was giving her directions and she missed the part about the Don Valley Parkway (which I called the DVP…whoops) and so she was just looking (without luck) for the Gardiner. When I asked someone on the porch for directions, this girl told Nancy and that’s how she ended up in Hamilton. Luckily, Hiliary saved the day with HER directions, and Nancy ended up safe at the party house and had a good time while she waited for Paul and my drunk ass to finish up. At 4am, we did.

Saturday: Just a little hungover, but moreso tired. Felt bad for Paul, who had drank shots of Jager and then finished up his bottle of wine. We both visited Toby, and then prepared the apartment for arrival of his mom and aunts. Jared came to visit and play cards, and Nancy left for some sightseeing and walking around. I hadn’t heard back from Erin in a while, so when I decided to ring her and it was busy, it was weird. She finally rang close at about 2:15pm, while she was on her way, and so I decided to ring the Salon (since she was buying me a haircut for my birthday…..the dear!!!) and to my dismay, they closed at 4pm!! They had someone available to take me, but could I be there for the latest 3pm?! Well. Paul and his family (adorable!) were going shopping and such, Nancy didn’t have her cell phone with her, and Erin doesn’t HAVE a cell phone (you.live.in.WHITBY!) so of course I was stressing. Paul ended up waiting for Nancy (whom I saw on my way out of the building) and she waited for Erin, and then walked down to the Salon to see my sporty new ‘do. It’s fantastic!!! I can actually COMB through it now! And it’s flippy!!! My hair was long and weighed down, and just too much for me to handle. It didn’t GO anywhere! Now it is shorter (my hair when I walked in was to the bottom of my bra, since I had straightened it the night before. Now it falls on my shoulders), it’s layered ALL over the place, and is very nice. I think it makes me look younger, Louis (the guy that used to have my job) thinks it makes me look older. Any way you slice it, I look fierce.

Saturday night: Dinner at Joy and Nathan’s was DIVINE. Like, SO good. But then I get a call from Kirsten asking me where I am and I better get back to the apartment so then of COURSE I start freaking out, thinking that I left something plugged in and that there are firemen at my chared apartment at the moment. She mentioned something to me, but I didn’t think twice about it. I had NO idea when I came home, what I was going to find. I open the door and it looked like a leprechaun had thrown up in our apartment: but in a good way! There were balloons and green streamers everywhere, and I was squeeeeeelling with delight (but not in a pig way). I go out to the balcony to find my friends! Paul, Trevor, Michael, Kirsten, and ANDREW!!!! ANDREW?!?!?!?!?! Oh my GOD! So Andrew was thinking of coming down, but then something happened that was beyond his control, but didn’t affect him directly, and he didn’t think that he’d be able to make it……liar ;) Paul and him had it planned all along! And Paul told Kirsten of it on the night of Craig’s party, and Nancy as well, who in turn told Erin as they were walking to the salon! Joy and Nathan knew about it, and Nathan had stayed back in North York in order to come with Ian! Oh it was a blast. Every time I looked at Andrew for the rest of the weekend I had to give him the biggest hug because I hadn’t seen him since I left school. It was SUCH a fun night!!! I have two regrets but nothing can be done about them now, so it doesn’t matter. It was MY night, I had a blast, and people that accompanied me also claimed to have fun, and that’s all that can be expected, right?

…..Although I DO wish that I had brought the lovely crown that Joy made me, because I wore it in the Subway and some guys were hitting on me. The front said: I am the birthday queen! And the back said: Check out my hot ass! Hahahahahahah it was great.

We had planned to go to Therapy Lounge, but Nancy got us into Seven, which Bryce and I had checked out on the web but I couldn’t get on the guest list because their mailbox was full on Thursday when I called. We stayed at Seven for one drink, cuz it was kind of ass-tastic. There was this HUGE lineup outside, but merely for show. I hate when bars do that. All this hype and then there are like, 40 people in the club. We went across the street to Therapy Lounge and I really liked it! Chill, with this girl at the back bar that used to be in Rent! I quickly made friends with her (I had met her several times when I was a Renthead, but they get so many that I didn’t blame her for not going ‘oh! I remember you!’. But she gave me a free birthday shot and said that I made her night for remembering who she was. IT was fun. Saw Wendy (but not for long…..I Suck!) before whisking away to Crews, where I didn’t know that people were planning to wait for my arrival at midnight. I had planned to be there at the end of the night, but of course I didn’t know the surprise was happening, and so…….yah.

I have to say this, though: It was absolutely hands-down the greatest, most thoughtful thing that anyone has ever done for me. EVER. I had not had a birthday like that since……well, it’s sad cuz I can’t remember but I’m sure that my parents had planned it. I should never complain again that nobody loves me because they clearly do. I was truly touched and I can’t thank Paul enough. Trevor made me a birthday cake that was DELISH, and Paul got me a discman for my birthday!!!! THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED!!!!!!! OH he is the bestestestestestest. Damn.

After party was at Andrea’s, after Gay gay pizza (that Erin asked for by name….aawwwww), but I was the only one that went and I know why: I was tired and so I slept in her room while she partied it up and then I got up 2 hours later and got home at 6:30am. Erin says I snore. I deny this.

Sunday was blessed. We did nothing. Jared and Kylie came to breakfast and hung out with us afterwards, as did Dylan. I love my friends. Jess stopped by in the evening, after Andrew and Nancy had left.

It was fun seeing my cousin! It had been too long. She is fierce, just like her older cousin. My friends had a blast with her, and she with them. Erin is always a pleasure to have down, and when she moves to Spadina and College it will be even MORE fun!

That is all for now. There are more details, but I don’t have time to write them and I have to pee. Craig is supposed to come meet me here and then we’re going for dinner, but it’s 5pm and he’s not here yet. He goes to Alberta for 8 weeks on Thursday, so this is kind of our last night.

Day one of birthday celebrations complete. On to day two!

2005-08-12T09:22:00.000-04:00

Well last night was a frikken blast. Thank God I didn’t stay until the end of the night, though. Luckily I left at 1am (hahahahahaha) and was in bed soundly sleeping at 1:30.
I left work last night set for Bryce’s house, after he had met me at Pape and we had gotten a bottle of Raspberry Bacardi. He was going to make ground beef, mushrooms, and cream of mushroom soup mix thing for dinner and we needed the perfect drink! So we got 2 boxes of strawberries and a carton of Guava juice and headed to his place. The drinks were amazing, but not as much as the dinner!!! And we (or rather, I, since I ate the most of them) bought these sugar crackers, from I don’t know where (East Asia?) and they were different and good. I like sweet and salty things together (hence my INFINITE love for Chex Mix) and so these were soda crackers with crystallized sugar on them. Good times let me tell you!!!

Anyway, Bryce and I had fun. He taught me a new card game that we will play forever and ever that is almost like Gin Rummy but it’s more fun cuz you keep the cards in your hand……it’s kinda like Gin except I’ve never played Gin before. It’s called ‘Pay Me’. I won. It was fun.

We just chilled, which is what I needed. I laid in the hammock until it started raining and Bryce was going to read my tarot but I didn’t have my tape recorder and he had his but no extra tapes which sucks because I wanted to remember what he said so he didn’t do them and I brought my OLD (tear!) tape recorder today so that we can play Tarot. I’m having lunch with Elizabeth today (let’s hear it for the half-day!) and I’m going to suggest the Danforth and then swing by Bryce’s later. But I do have a lot to do before company comes on the weekend……..that’s tomorrow! Or rather, tonight AND tomorrow!

We finally ended up at Crews (way too late, might I add. There were too many requests in front of mine, so I didn’t sing) and it was a chance for Andrea to celebrate my birthday, since she can’t come Saturday night. She bought me two drinks and then I called it a night while she went and danced with Trevor (I finally met the ‘original’ Trevor! What a sweetheart he is!!!). I met these fun friends of theirs called Hiliary (I know; that’s how she spells it) and Kylie and they are fun girls. We bonded instantly and they kept shouting ‘she’s part of the team!’ and giving me high 5’s. It was good fun had by all =)

So all in all day one of the festivities went swimmingly! I’m glad that I am at work instead of going to Canada’s Wonderland because I am making money right now, and it is raining outside. So nuts to that. Plus, I look SO cute today! (except my hair, that clearly needs to be chopped off) I am wearing my mom’s old batique skirt which I love, and a nice white sleeveless top. I knew it was going to rain, so I wore my grubs in, and then changed when I got here. I am so clever.
So with that boring, mindless detail: I leave you for now.

Nancy's gonna visit 711!

2005-08-11T16:35:00.000-04:00

so the cousin is coming down this weekend!
And Wonderland tomorrow is cancelled.
I am coming in to work from 8am until noon, then taking the afternoon off, which I have earned thankyouverymuch! Going to have lunch with Elizabeth, then perhaps buy some new jeans, then perhaps have a nap, and then possibly a late dinner with Dylan.
Craig’s party starts at 11pm or so and is being sponsored by Jagermeister (don’t ASK me how! Apparently Sedina has connections….!) so it will be a good time.
I think that Nancy will be arriving close to 3am, which will be no problem unless I’m already passed out by then.
Erin didn’t call me today to plan the birthday haircut, so I must wait until tomorrow for the details. She’ll prolly come over on Saturday, we’ll get the hair cut at the place Paul goes to (unless she has other suggestions), while Nancy does the tourist thing here in the Tdot. Then we shall mosey onto Nathan and Joy’s, where Joy will have cooked us a nice homegrown meal. Back to my house to get ready and then people come over!
I have to call some places tonight, but I have a few ideas about where I want to go. We NEED a guest list, though, seeing as there will be 15+ of us going out. Hopefully.
But as for tonight, I am going to Bryce’s house to sit and chill, have a drink and some dinner, and get him to read me my tarot. He’s a good kid and I love spending time with him on his kick-ass porch.

Saw Ciaran last night. Was weird. Not going to speak to him again, me thinks

That’s it for now; work is keeping me occupied =)

Will post either later or tomorrow morning. Day #1 of Birthday celebrations commence tonight!

HUMP DAY!

2005-08-10T10:43:00.000-04:00

I was worried that my birthday was turning out to be three people. I wanted to celebrate at Canada’s Wonderland, since I have not been there in FOREVER, and I am still going to go, regardless if it’s only Paul, Elizabeth and I. I know that people are low on funds. BELIEVE me, this is going on my VISA, which it really shouldn’t, but it’s my damn birthday so blow me. I know that I’ll have fun either way, because quite frankly I have fun wherever I go, but the issue that had arisen was Saturday night, when everyone CAN go out, and wants to. But where?!?! That was my problem. Having only just moved to Toronto, and since I only go out to gay bars on the weekends (apparently I need to stop ‘fag hag’-ging it up) I have no idea what a good place to go is for your birthday. I loved Devil’s Martini, but their over 25 age limit poses a problem for the guys. Who are clearly not 25. Not that most of the girls are either, but they tend not to check girls that are on the list. Guys, however, are fair game.

What I want for my birthday is to drink, maybe dance, and find a cute boy to give me a birthday kiss. That’s not too much to ask, is it? I certainly don’t want to take anyone home! But I have to consider that there are gay boys coming and I don’t want them to feel uneasy about hanging out with the ‘straighties’.

Alright. As I was writing this the nice UPS man came to deliver a letter and we got to chatting and he suggested that we just go bar-hopping! This struck me as a very good idea; thank you, random UPS stranger! So I am going to look up bars in the Richmond and Peter area, see what’s available, have a couple of drinks at maybe three or four different places and then make it back to Crews before last call. I think that all parties will be pleased with that, and maybe we can even hit up the after hours!

I am pleased with my plan. Let’s just hope it pans out alright. I’m sure that it will =)
As for the Ciaran situation, I have decided that if he’s too ‘grade three’ about wanting to be friends, then he’s not worth my time. Do I have time to call a guy that doesn’t give a rat’s ass if we’re friends or not because he simply does not call me because he might think that it might be weird that we’re still friends even though he’s dating someone else? No. And clearly you’re not mature enough to have that kind of platonic friendship with someone, so let’s wait and see; maybe in five or six years when I’m famous and THEN you want to be friends, maybe I will have caught a nasty dose of grade three. But until then, I will share my fabulousness and its’ friendship with other people more deserving of my time.

That’s it for now. We won the soccer game last night and it has come to my attention that I have the mouth of a sailor. I really need to stop scaring children and the Asian community with my foulness.

I might post another entry later today. But my boss just gave me a project, so that takes priority over looking for bars ;)

Tuesday: A Good Day For Drama

2005-08-09T15:21:00.000-04:00

So as some of you might already know, Ciaran is going to New York this weekend with some friends. And when I say friends, I mean the only people that he knows and wants to hang out with in Canada. All of whom are Irish, except for one guy that’s British. Plus, he is already seeing someone new (an Irish girl, what a surprise) and they started dating shortly after we broke up. This comes as news to me, so I’m slightly shocked. Not that I care, because he was a bad kisser and a bad boyfriend, but WOW. And the Irish girl is still in college back home (a younger girl……figures) and she lives in the basement of their house. Well good for him. We just had a fight on the phone and it never really occurred to me how much of a prick he is……just like most guys, I guess. I always made excuses for his behaviour, and never really wanted to break things off with him cuz he was a nice guy, and I was just going through the motions because there was nothing better for me to do. Or when their was, then I did it (yes, I kissed others guys while I was dating Ciaran. What do you expect me to do? Wait seven weeks for something I know is not going to last? Riiiiiight.)

So there you have it. I guess that I’m hurt because he found someone before I did, which is silly, but look at me! I am HOTT! Where’s MY boyfriend?!? (and not Ciaran. Oh god no). So I don’t know what to do with these feelings of anger and wanting to hurt him by telling him that he was a bad kisser and those other guys that I kissed while we were going out were better than him. Yes, I know. I’m a cheater. Big frikken surprise, people! If you can’t hold my interest, I’m gonna look elsewhere!

……maybe that’s why I’m single……

but basically I am angry because he felt that he couldn’t tell me this before. I think that I want to make him hurt, just because I’m like that. When he broke up with me, we could be friends just fine….but when I broke up with him, suddenly it’s ‘cut Genevieve out of your life and find someone new who doesn’t secretly think I’m a homo’.

But then I remember karma, and so I will do nothing. It’s just a shame that our friendship will have to end this way. I’m upset that now he thinks that I like him like that, because I said that since he’d be back for my birthday then we could have dinner. But I neglected to mention that it would not be solely the two of us. So now he has a big head and thinks that his ex-girlfriend is in love with him, which is completely the opposite of all the bad-mouthing that I’ve done with his name in the past two months. Or longer.

But enough about being a bitch. It’s SO not my thing anymore. I can care less (and should) about what Ciaran does with his life, as I am working way too hard on this ‘friends’ portion of our relationship right now, and he doesn’t seem to give a good rat’s ass. So I will get my Spanish text book and winter hats and things when his brother comes to visit today (he’s stopping in tomorrow), and say ‘fare ye well mutha…’

Our apartment is now clean, by the way. So if anyone wants to stop by this weekend with presents for Geneviève………

A retractable Highlighter?!?!

2005-08-08T16:24:00.000-04:00

Well, my weekend was pretty much non-existent. It turns out that I am CONSTANTLY busy on the weekends! Even though I don’t do much (per say), I still am running around, or my days are filled with something.

Case in point: Saturday I went to Taste of the Danforth with Craig and Maria, and then to Bryce’s house. For seven hours. Actually, it was quite possibly more than seven hours……..Paul and I left close to 3am. But hot damn did I have fun that night! It was Meghan’s going away party (she leaves for her masters on the 14th) and she is a BFA Music Theatre grad and also Bryce’s roommie. We just chilled on Saturday night, played cards, chatted, and flirted with a cute boy (I admit, I was shameless. He asked for my number at the end of the night, but I think that he will not call) named Ryan.

Sunday Paul and I awoke, there was minimal interest in Fran’s, and so we sat in. All day. Jared came over, we all suntanned and played Rummie (well, I played a few games and then slept), they went to get McFlurrys and then we went swimming and played Rummie some more. That night I watched tv, did not clean, and went to bed at 10pm.

Thursday night there were a lot of people in my apartment eating and drinking, and then we went for karaoke at Crews. I was sad because it was Chase’s last night with us for a while, and he rang me from the airport on Friday before his flight left and I kinda felt like crying for the rest of Friday afternoon.

Friday night I sat on my ass and did nothing, fell asleep during Sex and the City, made my way to bed at around 1am, but literally just as my head was touching the pillow Craig called. Apparently he was outside of my apartment. He came over, I tried to find my CD, couldn’t.......rummaged through my Ireland box, told the story of how I sent it to Paul for his birthday (the story SHOULD be at the beginning of April, or end of March if you want to peruse it on my blog.......), and then he left.

So there you have it, folks. My uneventful, yet jam-packed evenings and weekend. Tonight I simply MUST clean the apartment, because it is ass-tastic. My butt will not touch the sofa until I have finished cleaning my room, the kitchen, and the living room. Maybe the bathroom, but Paul said that he would get on that on Tuesday or so……

I’m hungry.

OH! And another thing! What’s with coming to Canada, only wanting to hang out with Irish people, and then missing your ex-girlfriends’ birthday because you’re going to New York?!

Perhaps it’s because I’m his EX girlfriend…..

Well apparently Ciaran doesn’t like speaking to me anymore, or even texting me for that matter. Whatever happened to being friends? Is it because I was the one that broke it off with him this time? Anyway, that’s a really stupid thing to do, if you ask me. But then again I stand by my opinion that he’s never been TOO bright……just enough to get by. I know that sounds horrible, but you need to experience this person first hand. And Moon (yes. Moon broke up with his girlfriend. Let the drama begin!) was asking me if he was gay, after I was telling Moon about how Ciaran never wanted to leave Rob’s side, and how I, after meeting Rob, came to the conclusion that Rob would have been just fine without Ciaran that first weekend……but I digress.

So Moon might come to Wonderland, and for the weekend. I know this sounds like trouble, but I really hope that he does. I missed him when I was in Ireland, and I know that he missed me, until he replaced me with this dumb broad that he eventually ended up dumping. So his call the other day came out of the blue, and it was funny cause he didn’t know that I had dumped my significant other (yah if you could ever CALL him that!) as well.So now it’s Paul and I, Jared and hopefully Kylie, Natalia and her boyfriend, Elizabeth and hopefully Moon, that are definitely coming on Friday. Yah! Four day week!

A quick survey to start things off

2005-08-04T11:15:00.000-04:00

ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with? A co-worker. I am not people’s bitch.
2. What is your weapon of choice? What did the five fingers say to the face? SsssLAP!
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Yes. They are losers.
4. How about of the same sex? CAT FIGHT!
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Um….it will eventually be my roommate. hahahahaha
6. What is your pet peeve? Oh there is just way too many to get into……how about drivers that wait until the ABSOLUTE LAST SECOND before pulling over to let the police/ambulance/fire truck with their flashing lights and horns and things go by. Rejects.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let things go? depens on the depth of the wound.---> good answer, Paul. I’m stealing it.
SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you have not done in a long time? Clean
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? Um…..7pm?
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: Karen, my character study. I miss that girl.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? "That's special.. but I'm leaving the country..."-----> MINE! And it’s “That’s really special…..but I’m leaving that country”
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? Yah that Magic Bullet, on a Sunday morning in Dublin, flipping between that and CD:UK
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? Walked a mile with Paul last night and then jogged a good part of ANOTHER mile!
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? twice
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Pink Princesses or the new Green Tea iced frappachino at Starbucks….Even though I hate starbucks. OR the vanilla milkshake at Fran’s on a Sunday morning. Yum.
2. Do you eat the skin of off chicken? Mmmmmmm sometimes yes although I really shouldn’t.
3. Have you ever used a professional diet company? Nope. I just scammed someone else’s weight watchers book and did it myself!
4. Do you have an issue with your weight? Hi, I’m Geneviève. Nice to meet you.
5. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? All of the above please. Sweet and salty together. Like Chex Mix!!! Oooooo please send me some of that for my birthday!!!!
6. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, lunch? A small house? And though LUNCH? Are you calling me fat?
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family/Passer byers)? Ew. Nekked peeps r gross
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? Only the creepy guy that stares through my window from his telescope from two towns over
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of the opposite sex during a normal conversation? Hahahahahaha no but I will check them out when they walk away
5. What is your favorite body part on the opposite sex? Eyes and hair
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? Nope. But I wanna see the tranny hookers!!!
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? 1 is too many
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? Urban Outfitters.
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Buy my parents a house, and buy myself a loft in Sydney
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? rich. and pretty.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Hells yes
6. Have you ever stolen anything? Yes. The hearts of many a young man.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? I have no computer.
PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? I gradumawated!
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Graduated? I don’t know……mom? Your thoughts?
3 What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? Be a singer. Famous if possible.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Only if there are two places in which to come
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill? Like when Homer entered the Plant building competition for children and ended up winning when his design was chosen because it had flaps for air resistance and sharp racing strips on the side? No.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Yah I tried to call my parents to ask what the french word for ‘sofa’ was and they wouldn’t tell me!
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? Crossed something off my ‘to do’ list at work. Later tonight, I will kareoke.
ENVY
1. What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own? Their skinny
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? Um…....Kim?
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? A prettier, skinnier, more famous and rich version of myself. With the range that I had when I was 17.
4. Have you ever been cheated on? Um….no I don’t think so, even though I accused him of it. And I was pretty sure he WAS cheating on me….apparently he was not.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Hi, I’m Geneviève. Nice to meet you.
6. What trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? solid determination towards a goal. I tend to waiver.-->good answer Paul.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? no, cause then it would have been too racy to put up on my blog, where my family reads the occurance of my daily life.

12 days til I'm old

2005-08-03T16:14:00.000-04:00

Well, I had a very fun weekend and the only thing that I have to show for it is:
a) bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep I got
b) water retention from the booze I drank
c) lack of funds from the money I spent
d) a nice tan

….but all in all it was a good weekend. Let’s re-cap, shall we?

Friday night I left work early to go meet Erin. We took a nap, went to Swiss Chalet (disappointing to say the very least) and got some booze. Waited for her friend to call, she never did, and so we went out with the boys. A fun night, but much running around, which there always is whenever the boys and I go out.

Saturday was Caribana day!!! Erin and I left (too early, if you ask me) for the CNE and to go watch her brother, who was going to be on a float. Turns out, it wasn’t so much of a float as it was a portable stage, with a bunch of people playing steel drums on it (they came in third place the previous night at the competition). Well, Erin’s brother (who is totally HOTT, by the way, but never attainable, as Erin is mah grrl and I cannot date any of her brothers) got us in the parade!!! But by the time that the ‘float’ was actually on the parade route, everyone had decided that it was time to be in the parade. All in all, it was a good time seeing Erin’s brother get progressively drunker until Erin had to drive him to Whitby to play a gig (he’s a drummer. ‘nuf said). We did not have time to get Erin’s things from my apartment, and so her stuff is still at my house, waiting until she comes down next weekend for my BIRTHDAY!!!!!

My birthday, by the way, is Monday August 15. Please send me gifts. Or money. But no chocolate. Seriously.

So Saturday night we went out AGAIN, and ended up at an after hours *cough cough sketch * and then I went home to sleep. Chase was drunk and slept over until Paul came home on Sunday morning and then it was the last Ronto before Chase goes to India. He leaves this Friday and so we are going out Thursday for a karaoke extravaganza (but apparently, Foof only lets us sing one song. Boo urns to that one.

Sunday during the day Paul and I contracted Roommate Laziness Syndrome. We sat on the deck, sunbathed, played cards, and went swimming. Then we took naps, made yummy mac and cheese (PAUL COOKED!!!) and watched T.V. No one went out, which was fine, and then Paul left for Michael’s and I did laundry. Exciting.

Monday (holiday. YES!) was good because I was going to sit on my ass and do nothing, but ended up walking an hour and a half to SCARBOROUGH in search of Bulk Barn. A good walk it was, but I was dehydrated. I randomly found the Value Village that my mom and I had gone to a while back during our RENT visit to Toronto, and she called me en route and I was pleased. Took a cab back to the apartment, made dinner, and played cards all night. GOOD TIMES.

This is the part of the entry when I proclaim my addiction to GinRummy. And that’s not a drink, people, it’s a card game. A damn fine one. In fact, I love it. Paul and I are going to start playing every day, I think. Hahahahahaha

Yesterday we kicked at soccer. We won 2-0 and I had a shut-out in net! (Along with this other girl, Sarah. We shared goalie responsibility)

Besides that there is nothing much to report. I am extremely low on funds, but want to go to Bulk Barn to blow it all. HEY! If you don’t want to send me a gift because I live too far, etc, then you can send me Bulk Barn gift certificates. Not kidding. I LOVE IT.

........do they make TTC gift certificates?

Tonight I will attempt to clean, cook, and work out, all before Paul gets home. Yah right. Wish me luck on that one!

And finally:

ATTENTION ALL! SHOULD YOU BE IN THE TORONTO AREA ON THE WEEKEND OF AUGUST 13, 2005, YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION WEEKEND! I cannot get my birthday off work, so we are going to Canada’s Wonderland on Friday, August 12, 2005. All day. Bring yer swim trunks and loads o’ cash.

There are two more entries under this one! Leave me comments! I like it!

2005-07-29T13:13:00.000-04:00

Well I just finished completing two of the ‘hard’ Dukes of Hazzard puzzles on msn games. They were fun but now my wrist hurts. Damn you, mouse! Plus, I don’t like that bump on the mousepad that prevents you from getting carpel tunnel syndrome because the damn bump GIVES me carpel tunnel syndrome!

www.antvsdec.com

but basically I went to Shoppers Drug Mart to pick up bandaids and then I got some keys cut (that's what I had forgotten! My boss called so I asked her) so that got me out of the office for a bit. Only three hours left til I leave for the long weekend~!

Make sure to read the first post of the day, located directly underneath this one!

2005-07-29T09:48:00.000-04:00

I have switched earrings and took out my nose ring after the CEO said good morning to me. Whoops. Good morning sir.

My boss isn’t here today. I love how I’m always the last to know! I’m done my work and it is 9:43am. Soon I will make a trip to Shoppers for Bandaids and something else that I forget that I have to buy but my boss is not here to remind me. Oh well I can pick the other thing up on Tuesday. I seriously don’t remember what it is.

OOO! Funny story: I was walking back to my desk from checking how cracked-out I look in the bathroom (surprisingly not cracked-out for someone who got ready in less than ten minutes) when I was like, what’s this in my bra? (That I slept in last night, by the way. Just thought I’d share.)

I had to laugh when I pulled out my LICENSE. That was still in my bra. From LAST NIGHT.

Oh yah. It was funny.

Let me elaborate: I have two pairs of jeans (that fit. Grrr) and the one pair does not have a lot of pocket room. And so the money and ID go in the bra. Same with when I’m clubbing and my pants have no pockets and I’m the lazy ass that doesn’t want to carry a purse.

Really though…….what did I have to buy at Shoppers?

The day of many a post....

2005-07-29T09:36:00.000-04:00

Wow momma posted after 11pm…….I wonder if my family has an alarm that checks whether or not I have new posts on my blog…..

A blogger-larm, if you will…..

I was almost later for work this morning! I (very unfortunately) forgot to set my alarm last night, and so woke up randomly (Jesus loves me!) at 7:44am. Well let me tell you I was at the subway at 7:57am!!!! I took less than 10 minutes to get ready, although I would have LOVED to have a shower this morning (new shower head – yah!), and I still have my nose ring and earrings in from last night…….the nose ring I can take out but not the earrings……we’ll make due. I hope no-one notices.

So I have to do work today, and drink lots of water because I am HELLA warm!!!!! What’s WITH that!?! Why did we have to stay til almost closing last night? Why did I sing karaoke? (Actually it was my favourite Lucie Silvas song and I think I rocked it….but will do better when sober. Hahahahaha)

Oh Chase.
India.
I’m worried because
a) he’s Chase and will say the wrong thing
b) he’s Chase and will DO the wrong thing
c) are there homos in India?
d) Can’t order a Big Mac.
e) McHallaall?
f) Monsoon season.

But I would love to go to India. I would do the backpacking thing, of course, and not the five star dining and sleeping experience. But he works for ‘the man’, and of course they pay for everything.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR, DEAR BROTHER!!

2005-07-28T21:43:00.000-04:00

You know when you feel old? When your baby brother turns 22.

Wow.

Holy feeling old batman!

And I should elaborate by saying that I feel oldER, not old.

Chase is going to India. For work. I think we might be going out for him tonight or Saturday. Erin comes tomorrow and we're going to a Martini bar with a friend of hers and her friends.

CARIBANA!!!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I get to have Jerk Chicken for the first time EVAH!

yessss *with fist in air slowly coming down in affirmating fashion, in lower, man-breathiness tone*

ugh. ADD. gotta go get ready for maybe going out! ...where's the malibu?....

I am sleeping with my eyes open. It’s a gift.

2005-07-27T16:44:00.000-04:00

My aunt sent this to me last week and my mother sent it yesterday, so I though I’d post it.

I particularly like the first part, but it’s all nice and lovely and true, so enjoy!

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't call when they say they will.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.

BUT...........
Girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.
A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you.

Or come in and carry you out.

The rest was too corny so I didn't include it. Have a good night!

Nancy, ma cousine: On m'appelle Geneviève içi, et pas Gen. Tu sais mieux que ça!

2005-07-26T16:17:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was a good day because I saw Joy and we had a good talk (scary that she brought things up that I had written on here yesterday but didn’t even know that I had a blog) but not good because I did not go to Play It Again Sports to get cleats, and now it rained today. Please God do not let me slip and break my neck/ankle/boob/arm.

I cannot wait until this weekend. Erin is coming down for Carabana and it’s my first one!

Ooooo and I met our neighbours today! The ones that actually LIKE us! Ahahahahaha
They live directly in front of us, and their names are Paul and Jen! How funny is that? They work for the hotel industry and I talked with Paul on the way to the subway and he seems nice. They haven’t heard any noise from us yet, and we haven’t heard anything from them, since apparently they were playing music until 4am this weekend. But they don’t have a porch near ours, either. Sometimes I wish that our porch looked onto the street instead of the concave sound-soup bowl that we face now. Everything echoes. It is fun.

Right now I am listening to Jason Mraz’s new album, which I am playing for free from MSN music. It sounds alright. Good work Jason. Will I go see him on tour this fall? Oh hells yes, but perhaps for different reasons that them teeny bopper tweens ;)

Definitely different reasons.

Wish me luck for soccer tonight.
Slow day at work but it went by quickly.
Only 45 minutes left!

Epiphany

2005-07-25T14:33:00.000-04:00

Do I really want to be an actor? Do I really want to be a singer? Or is it something that I’m willing to pursue on the side as an interest?

I find myself asking these questions, especially since my boss mentioned something about her mentioning something to the CEO about taking me on permanently. Which is good, because then I’d be making money. Cash money, which I need a lot of. But it’s bad because when the hell am I going to sing for a living, which is what I really wanted to do since I was little? But then that would not pay the bills. I could not try to pursue my dream and then work at a ‘regular’ job for $10/hr. It wouldn’t add up.

So now I am trying to figure things out and it is mighty confusing. I don’t want to say yes to Ferrero, and then next year find myself in the same predicament. Also, do I really want to sing for a living, or do I want to spend the rest of my life traveling? That’s another issue that has to be addressed. I simply do not want to spend the rest of my life in Canada. Don’t get me wrong: Canada is a beautiful country with a lot of growth and opportunity and is among the best countries in the world to live in, but I just love traveling too much to stay in one place for an extended period of time.

That being said, Ferrero DOES have offices in almost every other major country there is out there, including ones that I have on my ‘To Do’ list.

I have a lot to think over. I could possibly commit myself for a year, possibly even two, or perhaps there would be an opportunity in Montreal that I could explore, or something of that nature. Basically, I don’t know.

Unless I get a ‘regular’ job and then get a bartending job, but there are more bartenders in this city than there are actors! And I’d have to take bartending school. Which I wouldn’t mind doing........

Yah. So this weekend I realized that I spent a LOT of money for maybe nothing in regards to my headshots. They are pretty and I love them but when the hell am I actually going to USE them? I would love to be in a professional production but I simply think that I am not good enough. Plus, it wouldn’t be worth my while financially.

I guess that this is the bottom line: It will be at LEAST three years until I am completely debt-free. Possibly two, if Jesus loves me. Money is the bottom line for me right now, and my priority, as sad as that sounds. By the time I have enough money to survive, I will be too old to start up anything in terms of acting or singing, unless I opt for ‘character roles’, which is fine because that’s what I know I will be playing for the rest of my life. But that’s the thing: auditioning at 24 for a part and auditioning at 28 for a part might be the same bloody thing if I’m going to be cast as a 35 year old mother of the ingénue, or ‘bigger best friend’, or something like that, right? Maybe, but 28 year olds RARELY get record contracts.

I think I will continue to sing at karaoke and things like that, try to take a guitar lesson or two, brush up on my chords and music training, and try and write some things to get it out there. Also, I will take a cooking class in the fall because I like that sort of thing. I will put my going out most weekends on hold, since I’m never truly happy when I go out anyway, and focus on myself instead. I will try and look my best always, since you never know who you’re going to meet when you step foot out your door (instead of walking around like a trash bag and not caring, which is normally the case). I will try to speak in a quieter manner, but this will prove difficult since I hang out with people louder than me (is that even POSSIBLE?!?!). I will make time for myself, and DEFINITELY for cleaning my room and staying on top of my workouts. I will lose weight. I have to. It’s just not a question anymore. Everyone is getting sick of my belittling myself in the form of witty remarks (‘Fat girls are doing it for themselves’, and the like) and no-one is more sick of it than I. But I will have to make a rule, though: no more saying you are fat or that you gained weight in front of me. I will slap you. You can think that you’re a fat cow all you want, but if you complain to me, then you will get bitched out. The only people that are allowed to complain are the ones that are heavier than me, which are NONE OF MY IMMEDIATE FRIENDS. Therefore, kindly shut up. And I love you. But more importantly, shut up and eat some hot dogs and Big Macs.

I will do what makes me happy, and I will not feel ashamed to do it. I know exactly what makes me happy and approachable and in love with myself and whenever I feel the need to tell people ‘pardon me whilst I take a moment’ then I will go ahead and do that. I will look forward to sitting on my ass in front of the telly, or with a book. Yes, I will start to read. My brain is shrinking with dumbness and so I need to extra-size it. Oooo see how clever and witty I am with that play on words? Upgrade the brain = extra-size it. Extra-size it EXERCISE it!

And with that clever nugget, I leave you to leave me comments.

I lied. This is the only post for today =/

2005-07-21T11:28:00.000-04:00

Did you know that the majority of Dubliners think that Colin Farrell’s a right twit? A boob? A fookin’ idjit? It’s because every other word that comes out of his mouth is offensive, and Dubliners think (or at least, the ones I spoke to) that he’s not sending out the appropriate image of someone from Dublin. And that he’s stupid.

Well that may be true, but I would still like 15 minutes alone with him, let me tell YOU. And now he has a sex tape scandal (I’m sure that I’m not the only one that would like to get my hands on that one!), but the tape will never be released due to court order, yadda yadda, yadda. But Colin: only 15 minutes?!? It doesn’t matter. You’re still hott.

So someone like Colin Farrell or Ryan Reynolds or Hugh Jackman would be my ideal man. Someone who is:

Taller than me (not 6’6”, but you know what I mean. 5’11” is a good height, seeing as my mom now thinks that I’m 5’9”, but I’m not. Hahahahaha)
Has dark hair
Dark curly/wavy hair
Dark curly/wavy hair that is long-ish (preferably to the top of the ears or longer)
Listen: he has to have NICE HAIR. That’s my thing. Hair.
Nice eyes (preferably of the blue or green variety……or a nice hazel mix….something
Not skinny but not obese (I kinda like the slightly ‘thicker’ variety.)
He has to be funny, or be able to make me laugh.
Sweet, caring, compassionate
A great kisser
Love of Kevin Smith movies, Family Guy, Simpsons, heavy metal and hard rock, and some alternative (hehehehehe)
Coldplay fans need not apply
He also has to be up for a party sometimes, but likes to chill most of the time, since I have no money
Give good massages
Bonus points for playing an instrument or being a singer. I love drummers and guitar players (accoustic moreso than electric). Bass players are also......exceptable. HAHAHAHA
Ooooo and if he has a good job that allows him to buy me things like a CD player that would also be acceptable.
And let’s face it: he has to be cute. I like quirky kind of guys with their own style. But being a snowboarder would DEFINITELY be a plus

Today I am hurting. Apparently the second day is always the worst. Who knew?!? My left leg is killing me, and the pain has migrated to my left quad, my hip flexor (OUCH) and the left side of my back. My lower back to middle back is tight enough, so this just adds to it. Next week: remember to kick with right foot to even things out. It’s so bad right now that when I am sitting in a chair, I can’t even LIFT my left leg. I have to physically HOLD it and move it. Apparently I am an 85-year-old man.

I haven’t heard from Ciaran since I broke up with him, but I left him a voice message on Tuesday after work. If he doesn’t ring or text me I admit I’ll be hurt: how can you throw away a friendship like that? Clearly you weren’t interested in me in a romantic sense, so get over your issues (and we know what they are….or at least we have an inkling) and frikken keep your kool-ass Canadian friend, cuz clearly you aren’t making any of your own.

But I digress.

Nothing else to report here. Will post later, so KEEP CHECKING THIS SPACE!!!!

Hello Aunt Pat, random bloggers, and my father!

2005-07-20T16:42:00.000-04:00

Awww so now my daddy reads my blog! He reminded me to keep it PG-13, which I always do, since my life is PG-13. ;)

Soccer went well yesterday, except that my advice to all of you is to NOT attempt to play like you did 6 years ago during your first game IN 6 years, because you will hurt the next day. I’m not that bad today, since I stretched it out last night and put on my magic bag as well. But I am reminded that I have to switch it up when it comes to kicking, since I tend to favour my left side in sports. I need to gain a stronger kick with my right leg, and then I’ll be tempted to use it more. Besides, we lost 5-3. But they were the best team in the league and we held our own. Unfortunately for me, I tried to block a kick with my thigh and it riccoshayed (yah cuz I know how to spell THAT word!) into the net. Boo urns. Also, the boys wouldn’t let me be goalie, probably because the other team kicked very hard, and the league bases points on goals scored both for and against your team. I made a good defenseman, which I told them, but I also make an alright goalie….but that was back in the day, when I didn’t have to watch out for my nails ;)

Nothing much to report….my boss isn’t here tomorrow so perhaps you’ll receive a long blog then. But not much today.

Full moon tonight, I think……..beware the werewolves!!! (is that even how you SPELL that word?!?)

AAAAAAH! Fresh chocolate!!! The horror!! THE HORROR!

2005-07-19T16:48:00.000-04:00

So now apparently my life consists of picking at sandwiches and throwing away the ingredients that I cannot stomach.

While I waited for the leftover salad to vacate the boardroom, I grabbed half of a veggie wrap: a regular wrap with roasted peppers and red onion. YUM! But sadly, it had cheese in it, and therefore I put the veggies in my salad (that I brought from home…..so many greens!) and threw away the wrap and cheese. It was a sad day for all involved. Also, I spotted a smoked salmon sandwich on a croissant that I stole the salmon out of and ignored the cream cheese and yummy croissant.

But lately, I’ve been getting heartburn. Now I used to have acid reflux, and I took meds for that, but I had it under control. Perhaps my bad eating habits of the past few months are catching up with me. Either that or I’m eating too fast. Alls I know is that is sux hard, and hurts like your mom.

I have just been informed that I will be needed tonight to play soccer. Yah and nay on that one. Yah because I love soccer, and have not played for six years. Nay because I have no cleats (not a big deal) or shin pads (BIG, HUGE DEAL!), and I haven’t played in six years. I just hope that it’s not deathly hot outside and that I can run for a bit. And that we have enough people so that we can sub and things of that nature.

Alright I’m spent. Sorry for the sucky blog entry, but whatev. Work was hella busy today and now I have to go search Winners or National Sports for some shin pads, because Play-It-Again sports is too far from here. UGH.

Oh dear sweet bed! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways....I love you through slumber and resting, through sobriety and drunken sleeps, through s

2005-07-18T13:50:00.000-04:00

I am so hungry right now.
The yogurt bowl that I left in the fridge here over the weekend went bad, so I only ate a bit of it.
The salad that I brought for my lunch has gone mushy, so I am only eating the hard pieces and the two small pieces of salmon in it.
The CEOs ordered lunch, and so I might get some salad OOOOOO lunch just came.
Now I am satisfied. I got a veggie wrap (half of one), filled with brie, avocado, alfalfa sprouts, and tomato. I also grabbed a slice of cheese, a small cube of parmesan (um, I don’t think I’ll actually be eating that), some turkey that was dropped along-side the remaining wraps, a few grapes and pecans, and a LOT of salad, which is just baby greens, goats cheese and raisins. It is good, but people are complaining that it needs dressing. Luckily for me, I hardly ever put dressing on my salads, so I can just munch away at my desk, happy in the knowledge that my hungry tummy will finally shut up.

This weekend was super fantastic, although I am always sad to see my parents go, because I never get enough time with them. Funny how that is, isn’t it? When you live at home you wish for time apart, and then when you finally DO live apart, there are never enough hours in your visit!

My parents and me moved in my bed, dresser, and several random boxes in just two trips in the elevator! Their room at the hotel wasn’t ready in time, however, and so we missed Sedina’s show, which really made me sad. I took them to the Village for drinks (the first words out of my father’s mouth after finishing piecing together my bed were: I need a beer!) and they thought that it was a very nice place. I had to admit I was proud of them for being so cool, even though my dad made a joke about what if some guy tried to pick him up. Hahahahaha dad very funny. But yah we had some drinks, then they went back to their hotel room to take an hour nap and I sat down and watched ‘The Notebook’.

Word to the wise: do NOT attempt to watch this movie if you have to meet your parents in an hour. You will cry your face off; TWICE. And that’s what I did. Needless to say the experience left me drained, and not hungry at all for the Red Lobster meal that I ordered. No fear, though, the plan was for me to take it home and eat it during the week, anyways, seeing as I have no groceries.

It was an early night, but not for me, because I stayed up doing laundry until 1:30am.
Yesterday we went to the breakfast buffet at the hotel, which was very filling, and then my parents left. I putted around all day, watching ‘Le Divorce’ (um…….le crap) and hanging up my many, many clothes. Dilemma: I never have ANYTHING to wear, yet my closet is bursting. What of this? I think it’s because I wear the same clothes that I had in first year and throughout university, occasionally (I mean RARELY) adding to this collection of clothes. I really do need to give some things away, but we shall see. At the end of the summer, definitely, I will be giving away several tank tops and work tops that have seen their last shift.

So basically, yes. Very uneventful day so far, except that for the better part of the morning it felt as though I was having angina……or something like that.

Yes! Friday!

2005-07-15T16:45:00.000-04:00

So I was lazy and took the bus from work to the subway last night, seeing as it was raining. I get down to the subway platform, thinking that I’m actually going to be home early for once, and I see this guy walking quickly away from the platform, yelling to the people following behind him and everyone else to get out because this was not a drill. I was slightly confused, so I muttered aloud, ‘Does that guy even work for the TTC?’ at which point a HYSTERICAL woman comes on the intercom and shouts ‘Everyone evacuate the station immediately! Go up to the bus shelter or out onto the street! Leave the station! This is not a drill! Everyone leave!!’

Well this is where the panic set in.

Not only in myself, mind you, but in others around me as the started to swiftly walk to the exit and then RUN up the stairs, and RUN to the exits. We all stand outside, trying not to get wet and wondering what the hell happened and why the lady that works for the TTC and is TRAINED not to alarm people, had re-acted in that way when telling us to leave.

Maybe she was new. Maybe she was scared. But it was ridiculous the way she was so worked up that she worked others up as well.

Anyway I just finished speaking with the TTC guy at customer service and he explained to me that she used all the right words and I agree that she went through her training well and all that but when it’s not a drill, you still have to be CALM enough to get those words out and not breed more fear, confusion, and panic amongst the people. But that’s fine.

Apparently someone was walking by a waste reciprocal when they heard a beeping noise. The bomb squad or whatever was called in and so that’s why we were evacuated.

Well, being as resourceful as I am, I decided to hang out in North York for a while. I went to visit Joy and Nathan and Joy and I made dinner while Nathan went back to work. We hung out and talked and it turns out that we are in fact very similar! (We had a connection in first year, but then she got sick and had to leave, so we are going to try and spend more time together, now that I work so close to where she lives)

We have to really think about what people are asking of us when they ask us a question. We are too eager to please people, and we never put ourselves first, which is why we end up getting sad, or fat, or mad, or sick. How is what they’re asking going to affect me? What are the repercussions if I say yes? If I say no? When do I just need time for myself?

Etc.

Plus, I eat all the foods that she eats, so we’re going to start cooking random things together. I am joining her in her no dairy no wheat no sugar and no something else I can’t remember meal plan. Well, she cheats a lot but I’m going to try not to. The first thing to go it the dairy (easy! I’m already done) and then gradually with the wheat and the something else that I can’t remember…….sugar will be the hardest, but I don’t eat a whole lot of sugar anyway, so I’m sure I can do that, too.

Ok well I have more to write but I am leaving work now, so BYEEEEE
My parents come tomorrow! WOO HOO!

"Yo momma's so fat, it must be very difficult for her"

2005-07-14T13:51:00.000-04:00

Alright. Here is the best, and the very, very WORST, of my day yesterday:

The Best:

Hip-Hop 4 Dummeez.

This show is BRILLIANT! Just like JOB: The Musical before it, Sable and Batalion have struck gold once again. There are no words for this. It is pure HILARITY (which prompted me to buy the CD and DVD of the Grafenberg All-Stars (their characters)!) and I suggest…nay DEMAND that each of you go see it. For the Toronto kids: there’s still four days left of Fringe! For the Ottawa, Montreal, Calgary and Vancouver kids: go when they come to perform at your Fringe. It is well worth the $10, especially if someone else pays for you.

Which brings me to the very worse of the evening: my date.

Now when you meet a guy at the bar and your depressed and he starts talking to you, then you think, ‘hmm…this isn’t so bad’. But let me tell you things look different in the light of day. In fact, they look downright ugly. And creepy. But I digress.

I met Phillip (note how I don’t even try and cover up his identity) at Second Cup on Spadina and Bloor. He is a special effects artist that has just finished up a movie here. He’s from L.A. and a little older (I don’t remember HOW old, but I’m guessing at least 28). Nice guy, but a tad bit creepy. First off, I am nice and give him a hug upon seeing him. He is semi-cute but has his sunglasses on, and after buying me a drink at Second Cup we get to talking and he’s asking me how my day was blah blah blah and then I proceed to take his glasses off. Because clearly it’s considered bad etiquette to keep your sunglasses on indoors whilst talking to another person, especially when THEY are not wearing sunglasses.

Well whoa Nelly why did I ever take those off?

I think he was wearing the sunglasses to cover up the hundreds (and I wish I was making this up) of wrinkles around his eyes! So fine he eventually ended up putting them back on and thank you my sweet Lord.

The rest of the night was tolerable thanks to my fantastic acting ability.

So we’re walking down the street and he is walking WAAAY too close to me. Um, personal space, anyone?!?! I think he wanted to hold my hand but luckily I still had my drink and I was clutching onto it with both hands. We went to have dinner at Fresh, or something like that, and he got us wheatgrass shots, cuz I had never had one. (they’re not that bad, actually! Kinda sweet) Well, he keeps going on and on about how good for you it is, and how it flushes your system out, and how good it is for every part of your body (although you may not ‘get’ the creepiness of saying these things, I could FULLY pick up on the fact that he was wanting me to say something about that Sex and The City episode where Samantha takes some guy to have some wheatgrass shots, so he can ….ahem….taste better.

WELL GROSS ME RIGHT OUT! I never gave in to the fact that I picked up on it, but ew. So I played ignore and had a GORGEOUS salad, and he a thai noodle bowl that he could hardly eat because he had already had dinner. Good. More leftovers for me. And you bet your ass that I asked for them wrapped up, since I did NOT want this guy to call me again. It’s an excuse to be as annoying as possible! And I should have been more annoying, in retrospect.

So we go to get tickets for the show (oh, this date happened, btw, because I would not have had any other time to see him until next week sometime, since I’m fully booked up until then. So he just tagged along to the plans that I had made with myself), go have a coffee and a slice of cheesecake. Then we go and wait in line, make friends with some girl over my ring tone, and he chats with this dad from Minnesota and I talk with some guy in front of me. The show was down-right hilarity, and we all know how I get when something is funny. I did NOT hold back since this date was going so wrong anyway, but under normal circumstances if the guy was cute and I wanted to see him again, then I wouldn’t have hyheena-laughed during most of it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAetc. Good times.

So the show is over and while I was in the bathroom earlier in the night I left Andrea a voicemail that asked her to call me at 9:30pm and start yelling at me for leaving her in the lurch for half an hour when I was supposed to meet her yadda yadda yadda. I know. Clever me! So she calls shortly after 9:30pm and informs me that she’s at work. Ugh. Fine. So I go have a drink with Phillip at Einstein’s on College and we play pool. It’s open mic night and the guy singing is my perfect type: Curly long-ish dark hair, slightly tanned, not too skinny (but still thinner then I like), brown eyes, and a good singer! Who plays the guitar! Mmmmm. But Phillip, not clueing in and thinking that all you have to do is buy a girl dinner to get in her pants (you’ll see why I say this later), is not letting me win at pool. He’s not even TRYING to stretch the game out. Meanwhile I’m downing my beer because I want to go as soon as this game is over!!!
Ugh. Then he tries to kiss me. AGAIN. The first time was over coffee and I turned my head so he kissed my cheek as I complained, ‘it’s too hot to kiss’.

GET A FRIKKEN CLUE, BUDDY!

So he tried again at the bar, telling me how pretty I am, etc. Ok, I say to myself, this needs to end now. Guys don’t like girls with self-esteem issues, right? Here goes nothing!
So I ask him what prompted him to talk to me at the bar. He gave me his answer (does it even really MATTER?) and said that I’m probably used to it. I replied that no guys ever chat me up at bars or anywhere. He didn’t understand that (quite frankly, neither do I) but suggested that maybe it was the way I carried myself.

WHAT?!?!?!?

Or maybe because when girls go out they tend to clump together. Fine. Then he kept asking me why I thought so blah blah blah and I had enough so I say ‘Well I’m not exactly the thinnest girl!’ to where he replies, get this, ‘Well if you’re so worried about it you could try and lose some weight but I don’t think that it would change anything’.

Oh no he didn’t.

This guy, who could stand a few pounds himself, saying this to me, and then trying to KISS ME?!?! I changed the subject, saying that I liked the guy that was singing when we came in, so I went over and talked to him. HE WAS SO CUTE! I got on his mailing list, so hopefully he will let me know the shows that he is playing around town. Phillip got his card, because he was asking him if he knew any screenwriters (he’s trying to do a movie….or something. Who cares) and they got to talking, blah blah blah so the hottie finally goes and I’m tired so we leave.

Walks me to Yonge and College, because he has to take the street car from Queen or King in order to get home (I. Don’t. Care.) then asks me if I want him to walk me home and I say no. He tries to make out with me and rests his hand on my lower back. EW as I start to turn away but we’re still kind of hugging (at this point I realize that I am just too nice and should have ended this date a long time ago) and he says to me (second best line of the night….but not in a good way) he says:

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come up?”

um….let me think about that for a minute there jackass HELLS NO

to which I reply (Best. Line. Ever.), and VERY quickly, might I add:

“Uh no, I have no romantic interest in you.”

Then I cover up with, ‘but you’re a nice guy, though, and plus you leave in two weeks’
He, however, looks as though he’s been hit with a tonne of freeeekin bricks because ‘I bought her dinner! Shouldn’t she be paying me back?!’

Sorry buddy, but I don’t go for that. And you’re officially gross now.

So he’s like…uh…k and all this and I’m like yah so I’ll text you next week and see what’s up blah blah blah and then walk home triumphantly with my two containers of take-away for today’s lunch.

All that I can do now is look back and laugh, and not go for guys when I’m depressed, or when they happen to start talking to me and I think that they’re not that bad because I can do WAY better. Plus, I need to drag some people to that open mic night cuz there were some cute guys there!

So that was my day yesterday. Your thoughts and comments?

p.s…..I never DID kiss him. Thank God. I dodged all them bullets, let me tell you! =)

p.p.s.....http://www.sableandbatalion.com

My name appears either 19 times or 22 times in the following entry.

2005-07-13T13:26:00.000-04:00

Alright here's the story about a girl named Geneviève....

When she was born, instead of calling her Anik, her parents decided to call her Geneviève. And praise be to God that they did! I don’t like the name Anik, almost as much as I don’t like the name Genevieve (pronounced, of course, Jen-a-veeve)…but I digress.

After being born in Halifax, and moving to Ottawa so that her younger brother could be born, young Geneviève grew up in a town called Senneterre, which is in northern Quebec (which I just found out today, since I googled it. It’s approximately 5 hours and 45 minutes drive north of Ottawa. I don’t really remember living there, but I think that we did for about two years…?). Here, no-one had a problem pronouncing her name, because they were all French. And so was Geneviève. In fact, she did not know a word of English! It wasn’t until she moved to Winnipeg that she started to learn English, and then subsequently lost her French for a few years. In Winnipeg…well, I don’t know if anyone had trouble pronouncing her name because quite frankly, I don’t remember. I don’t remember a whole LOT from the four years in Winnipeg, or the next two in Dartmouth, but I’m pretty sure that there were no Genevieve (Jen-a-veeve) fiascos. Were there, mom? There must have been.............ANYWAY!

When she was 11 years old, Geneviève and her family finally settled in a suburb of Ottawa, called Orléans. There she grew to hate her name (as well as many other things) because it was too complicated and people were too stupid to say it properly. So she decided that it would be easier on all parties if she just went by Gen (pronounced Jen). So for the next seven or so years of her life, all through high school, she was called Gen. She tried to get some people to call her Geneviève, though, but they were introduced to her as Gen and found it very difficult to say those one or two extra syllables (depending on how you say Geneviève).

Then came university! Geneviève realized that since she would be moving to a completely different city where no-one knew her as Gen, it would be a lot easier to re-integrate herself into society by her proper name.

Not as easy as she thought.

Her classmates and teachers had no problem with Geneviève, and when asked if there was a shorter version of her name or a nickname that she liked to be called, Geneviève would just smile and say ‘nope. Geneviève!’ The problem arose, however, in first year, every time her and her roommate Jenn (see how I have always spelled it with two N’s?!?! Since the moment I met her!) would order food from their dorm room (as was accustom in order to gain the Freshman 15. Or in Geneviève’s case…..25). To this day, Jenn (along with a few others) can still recite the famous ‘Pita Pit spoken word piece’:

G as in George…E…N as in Nancy…E…V as in Victor…I…E V E.

“oh! Jen-a-veeve!”

NO. Geneviève! … … …sigh

So eventually there wasn’t that big of a deal with her name…until she moved to Dublin. You see, there are no FRENCH people in Dublin. In Dublin, they see Geneviève or Genevieve (damn you no accent computers!) and it’s automatically Jen-a-veeve. And so Geneviève has to accept (dammit) that she would be called Jen-a-veeve for a year, except at her place of work where she could teach them the technically challenging exercise that IS her name, and with her friends, who were mostly Canadian and could say it anyway.

So imagine Geneviève’s surprise when she moved to Toronto and people STILL couldn’t say her name! IS IT REALLY THAT DIFFICULT?!?! HONESTLY!!!

Geneviève has since decided that next year (or in two years…whichever) she is moving to Montréal and going to live as a Francophone for a very long time. Or until she travels the globe again.

That is the story of Geneviève. To clear up something that I wrote yesterday, there are still a few people that call me Gen, and some people that used to, until I harassed them so much that they settled on calling me the real deal. The people that call me Gen…hell I don’t really remember who they are, but one of them is on the East coast right now and can actually SAY my name perfectly well, but just chooses not to (or is just too darn lazy). The others, either I have told them that it’s not Gen anymore, or they still refer to me as Gen without a second though (because it’s how they’ve known me for several upon several years) even though they know better, but I have given up hope. I don’t get mad when they call me Gen, it’s just that I love my name now and don’t want to shorten it. The bottom line is if you can say Geneviève, then be my hero and say it. If not, then stop being lazy. Or enroll in my simple three-week training course on the phonetics of my name. Hahahahaha!

Let’s face it. You love me enough to pronounce the entire nine letters, either in dual syllable or the tri-syllable fashion. ;)

Is it Friday yet?

2005-07-12T15:22:00.000-04:00

Now this is why I love my friend Katherine. (Although she is one of the THREE people who are still allowed to call me Gen….against my wishes, of course.)

Hi Gen,

I just took a look at your blog...oh my goodness. What a mess. Good on you for making up your mind about the boy. He sounds like such a winner! Is he secretly dating that guy? Because his undying loyalty to some guy he just met on the way to seeing his girlfriend is more than strange. It's just too bad that you got so excited to see him and then it turns out he's still just a boy.

But you were not sure about the whole thing, even before you moved to TO. So, maybe this one thing made up your mind for you. Either way, it's not fair to be treated like that and you deserve someone who will treat you right.

Blogs are awesome.

That’s right honey blogs ARE awesome.

She is so fun. I miss her. I can’t wait to see how Jacob grows up being both of his parents rawk so hard and I’ve known them for forever and a day.

Besides this lovely email, which TOTALLY made my day, I cleaned up my desk and threw a bunch of stuff away that was from 2001 to 2003. Not. Applicable. Any. More.
Plus, I’m going to join Ferrero Canada’s weekly soccer team! YAH! I haven’t played soccer in five years but I loved it when I did play, which was also for five years. I just hope that I’ve toned down the trash-talk as I’ve matured. Hahahahaha probably not.

Tonight I blow off the soccer game (I have no cleats or shin-pads! I can’t play!) to go see a Fringe show, then to hang out with Andrea. We will kareoke tonight, non?

Oh, and anyone who says that breaking up is hard to do should try doing it with my virginal, naïve Irish ex-boyfriend. That shit was EEEEEEEzzzzeeeee, just like your mom.

But not my mom. Hi mom!

Yah! Random people I don't know reading my blog!!! I love it! Please leave me messages!!! =)

2005-07-11T16:36:00.000-04:00

Shape solitaire is the game that will aid my demise. That game is so addictive! And it’s so bad, because you can’t pause it…so when people walk by my desk (damn I wish my computer screen was more concealed!) I have to jump out of it, but the game keeps running, and therefore I lose points and opportunities! Grrr…well, I should be doing word, I guess….But the boss went home early and so I figured I earned it. Plus, it’s Monday! Who really does work on a Monday anyway? (besides Paul, who’s working 10am til 8pm tonight….sucky)

Today j’ai mis mon ordinateur en français, pour être capable d’écrire des lettres en français, s’il me faut l’occassion. It was definitely the highlight.

I was going to go to a Fringe show tonight, but it is way too warm to be walking home after I’m pretty sure that I was very dehydrated yesterday/maybe had a bit of heatstroke. I was ill and it was no fun. So tonight I will eat a piece of leftover corn on the cob (Jared and Kylie came over last night and cooked for Paul. Luckily enough, I was home to enjoy it as well!), so laundry, swim and possibly work out. OR maybe it will rain and the weather will break and I can walk around in the rain…I like that.

The weekend was uneventful, for the most part. Ciaràn (oh look! I can spell him name properly!) must have got wind of this site, because he hasn’t called me since Saturday (when I was surprised to hear from him at all!). Perhaps he is wondering why I didn’t drop the plans that I had in order to see him, but he can lick a toad. If he calls, then we need to talk cuz I ain’t doing this shiznit over the phone. I’m a face-to-face kinda gal. If he doesn’t call, then he can take a HUGE lick of that toad cuz I’ll be damned if I’m calling him. Boys suck.

I have to go. I have 20 minutes left at work and I’m jonezing for a fix of Shape Solitaire. Thank you MSN Games for ruining my life. Or bringing meaning to it….whichever.

I wonder how much Bono and Bob Geldof are giving to the poorest debt-endowed nations of Africa?

2005-07-08T16:38:00.000-04:00

We’ve been here before: I’m sick of excuses ranging from ‘I have a killer dose’ to ‘I just moved to a new country and am trying to get myself sorted’. Maybe I’m selfish in wanting to spend time with you. Maybe I was naïve to think that after almost two months apart, you would want to spend time with me. Maybe I was absolutely nucking futs to take you back and think that things were going to be different this time. But they’re not.

In fact, I get the impression that you like it this way. That having a beautiful (yes. I said it. I’m beautiful. But still fat) girl waiting, wanting, and wishing to see you, but just keeping her dangling a bit out of reach is how you want to live your life.

That’s fine; but that’s not how I’m going to live mine.

I have been extremely patient with you, to the point of RIDICULOUS. I have sat idly by while you come over, always with your friend, and ‘spend time with me’. Sorry, but when my other friends who are in relationships see each other, they see each other, not with one other person there that they can slip away from for a minute or two. I need more than a minute with you. Sorry if you don’t, but I’m sure that your other girlfriends (have you even HAD any?!?) in the past needed more too. Or maybe you just treated them differently…I mean, I DO have ‘complete and utter sucker’ tattooed across my forehead, so it’s to be expected, right?

Wrong.

You see, I know what I want. But I decided to give you a chance. Not once, not twice, but now this is the third time, and quite frankly I’m sick of waiting. Part of me says ‘But wait until next week when he’s settled in, then you can spend time with him’. But the other part says ‘Next week he’ll be looking for a job. The week after that he’ll want to go traveling. Then it’ll be the next week, and the next week and so on and so on until you wake up one day and realize that you could be in a REAL relationship with someone else right now!’

So that’s that then. My friends would NEVER gage me to be this person, but this is what is ultimately boils down to: I would rather be single than be in a relationship where I never see the other person, or where they don’t want the same things as me. In this case, the same thing as me is ACTUALLY WANTING TO SEE ME AND NOT THE FRIKKEN MOLSON INDY 500!!!! Or cleaning your new flat. Or going out for a beer at the hostel. OR ANY OTHER EXCUSE THAT YOU COME UP WITH! When people are going out, they actually WANT to see each other and spend time together. They don’t wait for it to happen, they MAKE it happen! They come home from work at 10:30pm and go home and shower and change and then go over to the other person’s house, or meet them for a drink, or something. Your next excuse will be that we live too far apart. WE LIVE IN THE SAME CITY FOR CRAP’S SAKE!

Basically I could go on and on and on about this, but I will end by saying this: I have been thinking of doing this for a while. It’s just that I refuse to do it over the phone, or while you are constantly on the hip of your friend. You are a nice guy, we are great friends, but you are a crappy-ass boyfriend. Don’t take it personally; just call me selfish. Because I am.

But just know that anyone else out there in my position would do the exact same thing.

I'm SO not impressed right now

2005-07-07T13:01:00.000-04:00

What is this world coming to? If you ask me, we will definitely see the end of life as we know it during our lifetime (And I mean 'Our' as in my generations). Let's get the run-down of what is happening with Earth:

Millions of people die every day from famine, AIDS, poverty, and war, not to mention various other diseases and such but that's not what I'm getting at.
10% of the world controls 90% of the world's money? Is that fact even accurate? It's something along those lines I'm sure...
We are killing the Earth at an alarming rate! We can see it through Global warming: erratic temperatures, smog advisories, tsunamis, floods....It hurts when I breathe. I was walking to work today and I had to cover my nose and mouth with my shirt to stop from being physically ILL from the amount of pollution that I was inhaling.
We waste SO much. It really sickens me, especially because I try not to do it, but as a society we do it all the time! Throwing out lettuce because it’s begun to appear slightly yellow or light brown; throwing out entire bags of milk two days before the expiry date, just so you can have the freshest bag; using one corner of a regular piece of paper before throwing it in the TRASH (not recycling it!), and I could go on and on and on and on and you would ALL know what I was talking about, because we ALL do it!
No-one is safe anymore. Seriously. We shouldn’t live in fear, but it’s sad to say that on any given day we could be going out, or going shopping, to see a movie, to go visit a friend in the hospital, to go to work, or to even go and pick up our kids (or the like) from school and we could be hit by a bus. Or shot. Or have a heart attack. Or have the bus or subway car that we are an innocent passenger on get blown up.

This is my point, people: The city of London was hit with four bombs this morning, during rush hour, planted on three of the tube cars and one planted on a bus. The same bus that my friend, Amanda Bosma, takes every morning to get to work. Lucky for her, though, she starts work at 8:30am, so she was not on this bus when the attacks took place. Her and Trisha are fine; I rang them as soon as I heard.

But what if? I know we can’t live the rest of our lives asking that question over and over again because we’d clearly all be dead by now, but seriously?! What if she had been running late? What if the terrorists had planted a bomb on each Tube line? What if they would have targeted Dublin instead? Or Paris? Or Toronto?

The fact is we never know. There are right bastards out there jet set on ruining life for everyone else. Don’t ask me why; maybe they weren’t hugged enough as children, or maybe they’ve been brainwashed into thinking that this is the only way the can find eternal happiness, or maybe they are jaded that London is going to host the Olympics or maybe they think the G8 leaders are pricks. I don’t know and frankly I don’t care. I just don’t want to live in fear, knowing full well that the next time I set foot outside my apartment, it might be the last time.

Because for at least 37 people that left their homes this morning, they never thought that they wouldn't be coming home tonight.

Well!

2005-07-06T13:48:00.000-04:00

I met the guys from Theory of a Deadman last night. They were sitting in the next box. Yes, that’s right. I went to see the Jays take one the A’s (they lost, big surprise!) in *my company's* Box. I had never experienced anything from Box Seats before but let me tell you….it was freakin’ fantastic! Natalia met me at the Skydome (or as it’s now called, the Rogers Centre….how stupid) and there was free food (GORGEOUS) and free drinks (Stella!). The food was amazing, and then we had Haagen Daaz afterwards. I bet Ciaran is kicking himself right now, seeing as he didn’t come with me, but he had no time to change and wearing shorts and a cut-off shirt is not appropriate attire to wear whilst hanging out with the president and CEO of my company. So tough, but I’m sure that they’ll be other times when I can show him the wild and wonderful (cough cough) game of baseball.

So I met the guys from Theory of a Deadman! They sat down in the box and I kept looking over saying to Natalia ‘I know them. They’re a band.’ And we all know that I randomly go up and chat with members of bands! I didn’t know their names but apparently their bassist (?) is named Dean and he is a hottie. Not in the pictures on their website, however. But in real life: wowzah! Totally my perfect kind of guy: Not heavy but not skinny, tall (taller than I am!), dark hair that’s a bit curly and a bit shaggy that goes to his ears (he was wearing a Jays baseball cap…yum), a little itty bit of facial hair, and stunning blue eyes, as clear as the sea. Frankly, I’m in love. Too bad that I’ll never see him again. Should’ve asked for tickets to tonight’s show but I am exhausted after going out the past two nights in a row.

Busy at work today, so I’ll keep it brief. Saw Cassandra last night (Weird. All my Dublin friends meeting up with me in Canada.) and Kirsten is off to the East Coast til the middle of the month. Met Natalia’s boyfriend (cutie pie!) and then went h o m e to my b e d. Or at least, ‘my’ futon. Until Paul gives it to Michael.

Ugh. It’s only 2pm.

International 'Genevieve Gets Her Boyfriend Back Today' Day!

2005-06-30T10:56:00.000-04:00

Oh my oh my what a weekend ahead of us we have! First of all, let me fill you in on Genevieve: I am feeling a little better, and remember how I had a second interview? Well, they ended up hiring someone through and internal referral, but that’s the way that it goes sometimes. I’m glad, in a way, since I was weary of changing jobs anyway. But that being said, I have an interview on Monday at an accounting firm. So wish me luck! LOL

Ciaran comes today. I am beyond excited! He just rang me 10 minutes ago from London, and I told him that I checked Pearson’s website and his flight is scheduled to arrive at 17:55. That is perfect, actually, because then I don’t have to leave work early! Plus, it’s going to take him at least half an hour to leave the plane, get his luggage, and then make his way through customs. So when I get there at approx. 6:30pm we should be fine! I hope that he still likes me even though I look like a heifer. =(

The plan for this weekend (after much deliberation, fights, and generally pissing off everyone else involved) is as follows:

I pick up boys from airport. Welcome to Canada! They have free vouchers for the airport shuttle, but Genevieve has to pay. Hopefully it stops at the Marriott on Yonge. Up to our apartment while Genevieve throws things into her Heineken bag and small backpack, we have a drink, the boys re-arrange their stuff for the weekend, and then it’s time for their first SUBWAY ADVENTURE! We meet Paul and Chase at Bessarion (two stops on Sheppard line, hopefully) and then we have dinner (which, I think, will not end up happening tonight because the boys and I might get there too late). Jess is off at 10pm and then it’s off to Newmarket! YAH! We hop in her dad’s RV, drive to the campsite, then drink some beer and sleep. Next day we’re off to Ottawa, where sandwiches and a veggie tray wait for us (isn’t my mom the BESTEST?!?!?!?!) and we will drink some more beer. Placing the appropriate amounts of vodka in 500mL water bottles we will then be off to enjoy the festivities downtown. That night we will be enjoying the fireworks atop Crystallina’s rooftop patio, and then hopefully getting into some clubs in the Market. After squeezing into the 95 to go back to Whorleans, we will walk from either the mall or the bottom of Trim Road. Sleep awaits me in my comfy, comfy bed!!!

……And that’s only the first day! HAPPY CANADA DAY TO ALL!! Aaaaa I remember last year’s Canada Day festivities…wearing my hat at the office at Frawley’s, then going and drinking myself stupid at the Outback, only to receive the worst hangover of my entire LIFE the next day, while Erin went to work. UGH but it was good times!

Work is fun, but I keep checking the clock to see what time it is and if he’s on the plane yet. I’m going to have to keep checking the appropriate websites, etc….but I’m excited!!!

I should also point out that the ‘boys’ are Ciaran (duh) and his fried that is also doing the SWAP program, a guy named Rob. Now Ciaran has this undying loyalty to Rob, whom he just met two months ago at the orientation meeting, and they made plans to live together, etc. Ciaran was not going to come up to Ottawa if Rob couldn’t come (as in, no room for the guy that I DON’T KNOW!) because it was their first day in Canada and he didn’t want to leave him stranded here because they made plans blah blah blah. If you ask me, a guy who hasn’t seen his girlfriend in 7 weeks should not be concerned about ‘loyalties’ to some guy that can go and find his own friends. It’s not that hard to do. But that’s just me. Ciaran and I got in a huge fight and I will not play second fiddle again! He says that earlier in the year it was different, and I’m sure that it was, but he’s on my turf now, and I will not stand for it. But whatever that’s a whole other story. So now this guy that I don’t know (hey. I hope you like homos!) is coming up and staying in my parent’s house, and hanging out with us all weekend. He better be fun, that’s all I have to say.

Funny thing is, when Ciaran rang me from London, he hadn’t met up with Rob yet. They are on the same flight to Canada together, so they probably met in line for the airplane. But wouldn’t it be funny if this Rob guy just led Ciaran on the whole time and is never actually COMING to Toronto? Or if they don’t end up meeting on the plane and then Ciaran wants to stay at Pearson and wait for him to show up when I have more important things to do with my time?!?!

Ugh. Sometimes he’s just the most naïve person that I have ever met and that annoys the crap out of me.

That’s it for now, kids! Happy Canada to everyone!!!!

A weekend full of Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Rum (but not together...that's just GROSS)

2005-06-28T11:45:00.000-04:00

My first Pride weekend went swimmingly!

On Friday I had my interview, they loved me, and want to see me back again. So wish me luck!! That night I met up with Natalia (surprised her at work! It’s been two years since I’ve seen her…), we had some dinner and then went back to my place for drinks. The crew came over, we went to Buddies, and Genevieve went home. The next morning CRAIG wakes me up at 9 AM!! (That’s NINE O’CLOCK ON A SATURDAY MORNING!!!) Ugh. My head. I decide to go back to bed until he comes over and we have breakfast at Zelda’s. Church Street was starting to fill in but it wasn’t until later that night when there were SEAS of shirtless, sweaty men (God; my pectorals suck)….hahahaha no one except Paul and others that have read ‘Gay Haiku’ will understand that….so don’t even bother ;o)

The Gay Bash (BBQ at Chase’s) was a complete success, although people kept coming up until 8pm! Poor baby, all he wanted to do was go and drink and party with the rest of the boyos….So he ended up flicking the lights on and off at 9pm saying, ‘Get the hell off my roof!’
Andrea and I left the party a little early so we could just walk around on the street. Andrea (pronounced Andree-AH) is a nice little lesbian that Paul met last Pride, and she is FIERCE! She has style, she gets hit on by straight men (why do they do that, btw? I had to save her TWICE from guys hitting on her. AT PRIDE! Hello! Pride? There is rarely inter-mixing of sexes here, people!), and she is an all-around a good person to hang out with. Me likey! So we hung out, met Jared and Kiley and Crystal and their gang at Café California for drinks, since we CLEARLY weren’t going to get in anywhere all night, and then Andrea and I left to try to get into a grrl party. We couldn’t, since we didn’t have tickets, and so we went back to the Café and decided to go to Woodys with Dylan and Jon for the night, since it was close, fun, and free to get in, much like your mom. Lasted til 4am, got home at 5am with the rest of the lesbians (some of Andrea’s friends, and Samantha’s friends) and drank until the sun came up and Andrea had to go to work…poor her she felt as though she was going to die. She had to open the bar because she had to watch this girl for a couple of hours to make sure she was fine, and then she had to go back later that night and actually WORK til 3am. Damn.

I went to Ronto Pride with the crew, but was clearly cracked out until I got my strawberry daiquiri and eggs with home fries. Felt better, went to the Parade, and was insanely warm. Kirsten met up with us (YAH! Kirsten!) and we had a blast shooting people with our water guns. Went home later, saw Wendy briefly, ordered pizza, then Chase and Jess stopped by with the Jell-o shots that we had not drank at the party. We wandered to Crews, Kirsten got felt up by a drag queen, I stayed for two drinks, and then I was out of there. Poor Kirsten kept trying to have a conversation with me back home but I was passing OUT! I slept while Pride ended, but I had a blast that weekend and it was worth not going to bed Saturday night.

Work yesterday was not brutal at all, in fact it was very busy. I have to grade resumes for a position that just opened up within the company, so I created a spreadsheet and got down to it! It went by quickly, and then I went to pick up Amber’s wrapped wedding gift and went home. Went to bed at 7:15pm after chatting with Mom, Ciaran, and Andrea (in that order…hahahaha), got up at midnight to chat with the roommie, and then went back to sleep with my alarm went off this morning!

Eventful, I know. Aren’t you glad you read?

OOOOO And WELCOME AUNT MAUREEN! I love how my family reads this blog, and so I can never really say anything *bad* that happens….not that I ever do anything bad. No. Not at all.

Tonight I was going to see about going out with Andrea but the cable guy is coming and I have to clean so I think I will stay in. Besides, I have to get my room ready because Ciaran is coming on Thursday!!! We can’t believe it, it’s like a dream. He hasn’t seen me in 7 weeks and he better not come over here saying that he doesn’t want to be together cuz his feelings changed cuz that’s totally my line! Hahahahahahaha

Right so. I finish this blog entry by saying this: Losing weight is a full time job. At least, that’s what the new ad in the bathroom says. Well thank you very much, mr advertiser! I don’t need your poster telling me this 5 times a day when I visit the bathroom, because I feel bloated enough! Poo on you, sir.

Oh! Happy days! I just spoke Italian to some guy that just rang! YES!

Meh

2005-06-23T13:34:00.000-04:00

Ok, so here goes nothing:

I cannot go to Ambers’ wedding. I am disappointed about that, but in reality there is no way for me to get up to Tottenham on a Sunday morning. I could go to the reception, but that just might make me depressed. I would rather give her a gift and take her and Travis out to dinner when they get back from Scotland.

I have a job interview with that company that I never thought was going to hire me, mostly because I had a phone-type-interview-thing yesterday in French and she said that the position is IT help for customers. Well sorry, I don’t have that. They want to see me anyway. Kool.

I am still don’t know what the hell to do with myself…sometimes I think this whole Toronto thing is too much for me, or that I really miss Ireland more than I thought I would, but I don’t know….I just feel like crying or sleeping or eating (NOT GOOD!) and so I think I’m slowly going crazy. I don’t know if I didn’t have enough of a rest period in between Ireland and coming here and running around (read: driving around) seeing everyone, and moving to Toronto and getting a job right away. I don’t think I would have wanted things to be different, but I don’t know….

So that’s it. I’m supposed to be doing something right now but the IT guys have no clue what I’m talking about and my boss isn’t here…

And so I sit here. Updating my journal, talking on messenger with Alanna, who I miss, who is back in Aurora………….and wishing I was sleeping. Tonight I walk from Sheppard and Yonge to Steeles and Yonge to go to Zellers. Yes.

I’m sorry I’m not more cheerful. Perhaps someone can donate something in a shiny, happy, blue little pill?
For now, this is it. Oh and btw, Canada Post is paying my mother $100 because they can’t find my poxy package that had my TAXES from IRELAND in it. There goes $300. Losers. I am super not impressed. Suck it, Canada Post. You made me disgruntled.

OH MY SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP!

2005-06-21T10:54:00.000-04:00

I'm so sick of this shite

*EDITED! THanks Wendy*

What an exhausting weekend!

2005-06-20T11:56:00.000-04:00

Friday night I came home from work and packed the rest of the house. Trevor made us dinner and it was really really really really good. We went out to Crew’s for a bit while Paul packed, and then he went to Michael’s. I got up bright and early on Saturday morning, putted around, and got the last of the things (sort of) organized. I made eggs and hash browns, and then Paul came home and the craziness of packing began! Trevor was green (badly hungover), and Paul’s parents were fantastic. They helped move us in two gos, with the help of Chase and Jess’s cars as well, but unfortunately they had to wait until we were done with the inspection. Which took forever, I must admit, but I definitely had some questions about our apartment, which I wasn’t too sure that our CRACKED OUT superintendent could answer, seeing as he hadn’t slept all night.

…did I mention the words cracked the hell out?!

Then I had to go and actually read the lease that we were about to sign, even though I knew we didn’t have time for my ‘going over things with a fine-toothed comb’ antics. I’m thorough, I’m annoying, and I love you Paul. The day was a blur of boxes and craziness but I thank everyone who helped out, cuz we couldn’t have done it on our own ;)

That night was a blast, even though I didn’t get to see Paul and Michael all dressed up (they went to a Christianity-themed birthday party dressed as naughty catholic school girls…or katholick skool grrls, as I like to say). Chase took Jared and I to a Fantasia party (my first!) and we had a good laugh. The night didn’t end the way I wanted it to, but rest assure before that point in time I had myself a good ‘ole time.

Sunday was like every other Sunday: a day wasted. Well, NOT wasted, but in terms of unpacking and actually DOING things that mattered, then yes. We went to Costco (in SCARBOROUGH!), bought some meat for the party that Chase and Paul are throwing on Saturday (I can’t repeat the name on this website as it might be offensive to those who aren’t flamers that like to make light of issues…but it’s a great name nonetheless) and then Chase BBQed us some steaks, which were really good. We all (Chase, John, Dylan, and the residents of 711) went back to ours to watch Napoleon Dynamite and eat tortilla chips and salsa.
Apparently, Napoleon Dynamite is not one of the gangs’ favourites. That’s too bad, as I THOROUGHLY enjoy that movie!!

Today I am at work, and after translating three sentences in French for someone, it has come to my attention that I should go online and try to memorize as many French verbs, words, conjugations, and other grammatical do-hickeys, since it has been a LONG time since I have written in the language that I like to call myself bilingual in.

I am taking a quiz on http://www.bescherelle.com/ and so far I’m guessing most of the answers. I should just change my name to Jenaveeve and stop pretending that I’m French.

Lunch time is NOW, so bye bye!

Exactly two weeks....

2005-06-16T14:28:00.000-04:00

Right so.

I rang Alison at work this morning, and she misses me loads. Me too, man. Apparently she’s been sending me text messages that I have not been receiving (bloody Rogers), and I told her that she KNOWS me….I reply almost instantly to texts. She said that someone rang Frawley’s to get a reference or something….they wanted to speak to Mr. McEvoy and they had a Canadian accent. Speaking of which, she says that my accent has grown stronger since the last time she heard me speak. I agree, it probably has. I can’t wait to hear Ciaran in person and slowly chip away his Irish accent. Hahahahaha!

You know what I just realized? I have been here three (?) weeks, and I still have not seen Marianthi. I must have really pissed her off when she came to see me in Dublin. I hope that our friendship does not go down the toilet, because I love her a lot and she means the world to me. I know she’s busy, but I do want to see her one day!

And this is a message to everyone I know: I no longer have your numbers in my phone! With the exception of Paul, Marianthi, and my home in Ottawa, I NEED YOUR NUMBER! Please email it to me. That is, unless you want random strangers contacting you, then feel free to post it in your reply!

I have two more boxes to bring home from work today, so that I can start packing. Goal for this evening: Pack the kitchen. Seriously. Have done…..um…..NOTHING since finding out that we move in two days, while Paul has been a good lesbian and taken apart his bed, table, and shelving unit. Well. In case you think I’ve done nothing, it was ME that ordered Spring Rolls and got a really good wine, and I made pesghetti last night and we watched ‘Monster’. Damn she earned that Oscar. You go, Charlize!

So life is B to the Oring, especially when I’m at work. I don’t like asking people if there’s anything that I can do for them, so I go on Microsoft Word and type a journal entry, then go to Blogger and paste it. I’m so clever. I should have taken a lunch today, but quite frankly I can eat at my desk and I get paid more without a lunch….or even with a half-hour lunch, which I usually take. But not today.

So to recap: I miss Ireland (like you didn’t know that already!), Marianthi hates me, I need to pack, I would like a better job, and I DON’T HAVE YOUR NUMBER!

Seacrest Out

I hate spelling my name out for people....it's like I'm back in frikken Windsor or something!!!

2005-06-15T16:34:00.000-04:00

So my phone was dead. THAT’s why it didn’t work in the apartment, or at work.

But we have the new apartment, and I am getting a new phone tonight. YES!

We move in on Saturday, which means that I get my own room…..which, for the moment, will be filled with Paul’s futon, a mini-night table, a fold-out chair, and some various boxes. That is, until the 16th of July…..when parents come to grant me my wish of a bed and dresser.

To go up to Ottawa for Canada Day, Paul and I are thinking or renting a car, because that is the only way that he, Michael, Ciaran, Rob (Ciaran’s friend coming over with him) and I will all fit in the car. I want Erin, Chase, etc etc to come as well, but let’s face it: It’s not my house. And as much as my parents love my friends, I doubt they want to wake up to 15 kids sprawled out on their floor. But hot damn would that ever be FUN!

Work was slow to start today, and then picked up after lunch. I created a budget for myself, which means that I might not be partaking in Fran’s every single weekend. Sometimes I will stay at home and clean, or work out, and wait for the gang to get back for the Sunday Swim (oooo we’re gonna have to FORCE people to leave our place, aren’t we, Paul?). We changed the radio station that plays on the phone, and when you’re on hold, since some geezer in Italy got offended by Chum Fm. CHUM FM! SERIOUSLY!!!! So now it’s on BBC2 or CBC1 or something like that. I like it, except when they play songs where people actually SING. Besides that, I really would like a job closer to the city (read: IN the damn city, not North York!) that pays better, so I could afford Fran’s every weekend, but for now this one will suffice.

I have twenty minutes left until I steal some boxes, go home, grab phone stuff, get phone, then decide whether to pack or sleep or go to the gym. I’m thinking one of the first two. Then I get to cook a random dinner for Paul with as much crap in our kitchen as I can use! YES!

So goodnight, and God speed.

Someone turn off the heat....

2005-06-14T11:28:00.000-04:00

The smog in this city is making me ILL. I mean it. It’s gross. I don’t even TRY to go outside for my lunch hour, since I know that it will just be too warm and stuffy and sticky and yucky. Thank God it actually rained yesterday, so at least the weather broke for a bit.
Dylan and I went prancing in the rain! It was fun, but then I was cold. But it was the refreshment that my body needed because, let’s be frank here kids, when I get out of the shower and get ready, I am as sweaty as when I stepped foot IN the shower.

But one day we will have the air con.

And that day apparently happens to be on the Friday of Pride. That is, unless Paul is really really really really really REALLY nice to the lady at the building so that we can get the keys earlier. Hopefully we will sign the lease on Saturday =) oh yah, I forgot to mention: WE GOT THE APARTMENT!!! Yah!!!!!

But there has been drama over the move-in date, my inability to ask for time off work, and the resources that we have (i.e. parents and BEGGING Chase et al.) for the massive amount of stuff we have. Plus, I’d like to get in there earlier and clean a la Genevieve, if at all possible. But besides that, we should be moved in for Pride. Which would be good. My reasoning is: I understand that they can’t give us the keys due to security/liability reasons. FINE. But please give us the keys no later than Tuesday so that we can go in, clean, and move things in slowly but surely. We will not have time to do it all on Friday because of people working and too much stuff for only two hours that the elevator is booked. Plus, the crazy nekked gays in the streets will be difficult to manouver through. But I digress.

Paul, here is some love for you, since you had a bad bad baad day yesterday. We love ya, kiddo.

Work was ultra busy this morning, which I love, because it means that I’m not bored! YES! Besides that, my phone is screwing up. This is what I miss about Ireland: PHONES THAT ACTUALLY WORK!!!! Right now my phone no longer gets reception at my office, OR at my apartment.

Suck it Rogers.

HAPPY 30th ANNIVERSARY TO MY LOVING MOTHER AND FATHER TODAY!!!

?Donde Esta.......McFlurry?

2005-06-13T13:40:00.000-04:00

Some guy that came in to fix the presidents light today asked me if I was ever a Sunshine girl. I had to laugh and thank him for putting a smile on my face.

This weekend was brilliant! Friday night was Amber’s bachelorette party, and I had a lot of fun. It was great seeing Amber, Courtney and Sedina again, and then Craig stopped by during our final bar stop. I had a LOT of martinis that night, but I had an absolute blast. I met some weirdo at Pizza Pizza on the way home, though……he was just WAY too excited about pizza on a Friday night. Drugs are bad, kids!

Saturday was a waste of a shopping day, since I did not find anything suitable to wear to the single’s soiree that I was attending that night, but it didn’t matter anyway since I just wore the exact same thing that I wore to Amber’s the night before.

Let me explain this whole ‘single’s soiree’, as it were. I received free tickets (three. Total value: $450. my friends should LOVE me if they don’t already. Hehehehe) from my employment agency to the Princess Margaret Hospital Cancer something or other fundraiser and singles thingy called ‘Playing With Matches’. (www.playingwithmatches.ca if it’s still up) There we got four free drinks, all the free hors d’oeuvres we could manage (and the displays were FANTASTIC! I had lobster bisque in a little ceramic cup/shot glass!), LOTS of free candy (at the Toronto Firemen’s station….they were in a calendar!) and we signed up for speed dating! All my boys got a ‘no’ on my card, though, because of a little man named Ciaran that arrives in 17 days. It was a blast, and I got my hair did! Hahahahahahahaha! Needless to say Erin (oh yah! Erin Lambert came! I hadn’t seen her since August in Dublin and golly gee did I ever miss the piss out of her!) and Joy and I had a blast, and from what I saw, so did Kirsten, who was there with some of her hostel peeps.

Erin and I proceeded to go to Crew’s afterwards for Jared’s birthday, and all the boys were pissed. We had some shots, then after gay gay pizza went to Kylie’s for martinis. Apparently Genevieve passed out on the couch upon arrival at the homestead, and Erin actually brushed her teeth and hung up her clothes in my closet! You go, girl!

Sunday morning was too hot to live, just like Saturday morning. I (UNFORTUNATELY) got up at 10am, made a visit to Toby, and then watched tv, inadvertently waking Erin up. Our stomachs ate themselves, we ate some candy, and then I took Erin for Jared’s birthday breakfast extravaganza, this being her first Ronto experience. ‘Ronto. Pronto!’ is what she could be heard shouting over the rumbling of her hungry, hungry tummy. I must admit, those Sunday morning brekkies are good, but they come too late! I’m usually starved when I get up, ESPECIALLY after visiting Toby.

We chilled all day yesterday and then Erin drove to school yesterday night, as she had class today. It must suck to be her, driving back and forth from school and whatnot.

Work is slow. It is roasting in here and I can’t take off my frikken jacket for fear of being unprofessional, and I think I just got Paul in trouble at work (um….sorry!). I am technically on my lunch but am sitting at the front desk so of course it looks as though I’m not doing any work at all. When oh when will it be 5pm?!?!

Ugh. Three more hours.

******Toby is the name of our giant tub of tylenol. Gay gay pizza is pizza that is bought around 3am from this little crappy pizza shack (it is small!) but the pizza is SO SO SO good, especially after a night of drinking and dancing at Crew's or Buddies, two of the gay bars that we frequent quite a bit every weekend. Ronto breakfast is just Sunday morning breakfast at Fran's diner, but there is a sign on either side of the canopy outside that says 'Toronto original', or something like that, but the T and O fell off a while back so Paul and his crew just called it Ronto. But now that the R has fallen off, will they change it again? Probably not. P.s......I like Paul's friends, who I am starting to call my friends as well. Hope they don't mind hahahahaha*********

Ugh

2005-06-10T16:53:00.000-04:00

French employers need to STOP contacting me. I pulled my resume from Monster today.
Although I got an 85% on my written french test, I have not had enough French office experience to work for the company that I wanted. Suck it. It's a vicsious (spelling!) circle: i haven't had enough French, but then I won't get a French job to improve my French so i'll never GET a French or bilingual job!

but I digress

no sleep makes me depressed. and i have a bachelorette to go to tonight, joy of joys.
sedina is excited to see me. believe me. it's not that big of a deal. i'm the same, except fatter.

God I hate myself

Well I tend to be over dramatic sometimes......or so I'm told.

2005-06-07T15:28:00.000-04:00

I apologize to my parents, who I claim would rather see me fail then give me what the word 'armchair' is in French. They want me to suceed, not cheat. That being said, I have to redo the poxy French test anyway.

And it turns out that once you HAVE a job, others come sniffing around wondering if you're available to work for them....which proves to be a difficult situation since you might want to leave one job for another better paying-closer one, but cannot take time off work for interviews and the like. Hmmm....connondrum. Conundrum? Condominium?

The man who Paul and I were dealing with in regards to the sweet apartment has quit, or been fired. It's not pretty in any case, and is a sensitive issue, I have been informed. Well then! That kind of gives me the 'maybe we shouldn't be doing this then' feeling, but then I look at the apartment and the POOL and the GYM and the outdoor running track and I think, 'suck it up'. I just hope that

a) We get the apartment
b) They don't screw us around
c) My boyfriend likes big girls

And when you're pissed, it's a good idea to go bitch to your neighbour and demand that you go out for drinks, and instead.... go swimming. And then eat lots of ice cream.

Tonight Jason Mraz is opening for Alanis Morissette at the Humingbird Centre. How mad am I that I'm not going?

.....don't ask. Just assume.

On that note:

You Are 19 Years Old

19 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

That being said......WELCOME AUNT DORIS!

2005-06-06T16:13:00.000-04:00

I miss Dublin. I miss the fact that I liked my job and got paid good money for it and I miss my friends and their ridiculous drunken antics and just the RANDOMNESS that came from living that far away from home, with a bunch of people that you happened to meet that became your family for those crazy times.

That being said, Toronto is starting to grow on me....I now have new friends, that I have clearly stolen from Paul (note to self: branch out! hehehehe) who are fantastic, and there are random days and nights with them. There would be more, but I need to sleep sometimes! Also, there WILL be more, and I will have to put a limit, due to funds, boyfriends, my waistline, etc. But I am excited for Pride, which they tell me is a good time. It better be!!! *shakes fists in a violent manner*

THAT being said, I am a flake nowadays when it comes to friendship. Which should bother me, but it seems that the vaste majority of my friends are in the same position as me. I mean, if they really wanted to see or hear from me more often, they would call/text/email/etc, right? With, of course, the exception of Erin and Kirsten, to whom I owe VASTE recompense regarding my absense in their lives. But we are dealing.....

It used to be that I would take personal offense when people would not return my calls or want to hang out. Now I can't be bothered! How sad is that?!?! I mean, I love my friends, but I am tired of chasing people. This may sound selfish, but maybe it's time that I am. I need 'me' time, and I need to desperately save money before I can hang out with the lovely, lovely people that I know in Toronto. That being said, I miss my Ottawa friends, so come visit!!!

****I am aware that the previous two paragraphs make me sound like a selfish bitch and bad friend. I'M NOT! It's just.....I don't know. I need to get back into a routine definitely, and until then....I think Genevieve is out of service....It's sad that no-one knows what I mean in this respect****

My legs are a little less white thanks to yesterday's sun-bathing-o-rama on Chase's roof top patio. I like that kid, I must say. But Paul: I am glad you are not with him. I have more to say on this matter, which I will say when you get home. Unless you are sick of talking with me, in that case: TOO BLODDY BAD. We have all year to spend with each other, so deal. =P

Ugh. 45 minutes left and then il faut que je prends un examen ecrit en francais. Soitez-moi bonne chance!

p.s.....HI AUNT DORIS! I always knew that you were a fan of this particular blog.....you and nancy ;)

Oh Monday!

2005-06-06T13:36:00.000-04:00

You know you're generally bored when your only excitement for the day comes when you are accidently locked in the stairwell!

Only a 45 minute commute away!

2005-06-03T11:10:00.000-04:00

Alright. So I have a new job! (Let's hope that it's for a while yet...) I work for, get this, Ferrero Canada. As in, the makers and producers of Ferrero Rocher, Kinder Surprise, Kinder Bueno, Nutella, and TIC TAC! Right now I am just a temporary Human Resources Assistant/Office Administrator (read: Receptionist), but hopefully I will get this job permanently. Please pray for me.

Besides that, I rang Goodlife this morning and was very very upset, yet talked to them in a calm manner! I was given the number of Customer Service Accounts, or some crap like that, and I pleaded my case to this nice woman named Noelle. My cheeriness and excrutiatingly detailed account of what had happened to me reaped some benefits at least: She will cut me a check for the money taken out of my account on June 1st, PLUS I get to use the gym free while my membership is on hold until August 5th. At that time, ladies and gentlemen, I will C A N C E L it. Unless Ciaran wants it.....then I can transfer it to him.

I am hopefully signing a lease this Saturday with Paul, and then we can slowly start moving things into the apartment. Daddy can either come June 11th or July 16th.......this means that I get my own bed (YAH!), but that people get to sleep on the floor when they come to visit for Canada Day. Which, as drunk as they'll be, they won't really care anyway, right? ;)

Besides that I hope that this job becomes permanent, but this girl Morgan from another agency just rang me to tell me of a Permanent job somewhere else....She'll ring me back at 12:30, so I'll get to know more. I like it here, but I need a definite yes or no or something. My placement person (Larissa, SUPER nice....thank you, Kirsten!) told me that they are looking to take someone on for a permanent position and they know that I'm interested, and right now it's like a working-interview type thing. Maybe I'll even get a professional interview to go with my new professional looking suit! Either way, wish me luck =)

Nothing else to report. Living with Paul is going swimmingly, and I cook up a storm (when I'm not sleeping....as per yesterday and the 12 hour snoozefest). I am hoping for one apartment and he another, but we shall see when he peeps them on Saturday. Ciaran rang me yesterday (27 days!) and he says 'like so' a lot. I noticed that the first time I met him, but started to ignore it. Being away from him for 4 weeks (eeek! Has it been that long, people?) has made me realize things over again. But I digress.

This weekend I am not going out. Sorry boys, but I have a lot to do, in terms of not spending money and repacking to semi-move and I need to go to the gym on Sunday. Or just chillax.

P.S.......Andrea: You CAN reply to my posts on here! Just right Anonymous, or right your name but that you don't have an account....My mom does it, and so does Crys, and so can YOU! ;)

I'm sorry to those of you about to read this, but this girl is ANGRY!

2005-06-02T16:26:00.000-04:00

edit!

There ain't no tits on the radio....

2005-05-28T21:57:00.000-04:00

Toronto day #2 went well. I am in love with an apartment that is a little expensive, but is all inclusive, with air conditioning, basic cable, a pool, billiards room, outdoor track, and gym. soo, we're pretty much SOLD.

Saw Kirsten today, which was nice. but weird! she's in CANADA, not DUBLIN!!! she knows the city better than me (of course, her having been here for the past 3 months) and we went to Healey's (as in, Jeff Healey......who knew?) for some free jazz, and then i walked home through Chinatown and then made a FIERCE dinner. I win!

Tonight we goo out, Village-styles. I'm sorry that the typing isn't the best, but pauls computer is gay. litterally.

PLEASE POSTT SOME REPLIES!!! DOOES ANYONE BESIIDES PAUL ACTUALLY READ THIS THING?

Thank you Kate Southwell! I guess that past year wasn't a total waste then, right?

2005-05-26T19:58:00.000-04:00

Your Inner European is Irish!

Sprited and boisterous!

You drink everyone under the table.

Who's Your Inner European?

New format.....ish....

2005-05-26T14:50:00.000-04:00

Re-reading the past entries have given me a realization:

I should rename this blog 'The Ciaran Chronicles', or something. I talk about that kid a LOT.

well, i miss him. Didn't think I would as much as I do, but am starting to wonder how I will get through the next thirty-five days.

If only he was home to pick up the phone, or pick up his mobile! UGH.

Besides that, I am freaking out about nothing. Hopping on the 7am bus from Ottawa tomorrow morning, looking at stuff with Paul tomorrow, crying myself to sleep tomorrow night.

Good times

on a brighter note, I have confirmed the fact that I am not going to hell!

Your Deadly Sins

Pride: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Greed: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Lust: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 17%

You will die from faulty botox injection.

How Sinful Are You?

Coming out of my cage, and I've been doing JUST FINE

2005-05-25T20:40:00.000-04:00

Right then.

Moved in with Paul on Thursday May 19th. Missed him. Strange seeing him with a posse of gay boys, but the boy is a natural leader, that's for damn sure! Michael is a sweet heart, and SO perfect for him. And Paul is good enough to not get jealous and/or angry that sometimes Michael has a crazy schedule and sometimes cannot see his boyfriend. Something he can hopefully teach Genevieve. (missed the rant of four months ago? Too bad suckas. It had something to do with a boyfriend that I never saw though, let me tell you that much)

Paul looks fierce. The hair is awesome, the apartment is awesome, my ROOM is AWESOME! The boy put up sheets as a door. I love him. He looks better than ever, too. And I make him lunches to take to work! I have warned him about the 'Genevieve routine', though.....which starts next week. Lots of gym, no junk food. Poor kid, I will forever be trying to ignore the bags of chips in the cupboard. But rest assured: Carrie Underwood has a shiny chin. And I can ignore a LOT of things.

The weekend was amazing. Windsor will always be my second home. It felt more like home than Ottawa did, mostly for the good reason that I haven't really LIVED in Ottawa for the past four years. Found myself wanting to move back to Windsor, strangely enough. But wouldn't be the same, so that's why I am moving to Toronto. My friends are there and that's what made Windsor the time of my life. That. and school. I kind of want to be a student again, but I have to start paying off that LAST time that I was a student. hahahaha

Sterling Heights was fantastic. Andrea and I fell back into the same relationship that I think we'll always have. She looks fierce with the brown hair. Better than the blond! Met the guy she is dating, and her mom's new puppy. Both are very, very nice......but I had to watch out not to step on the tiny dog in the kitchen! We went to see Nick Motil on Friday night (after the ridiculous closure of I-94....from which we somehow recovered....) and he was happy to see us, I think. Personally, I was happy to see Chad. I miss that kid. We were talking about the past and times that he came to Windsor to visit. I could only remember once, but he came twice! And then I remembered: oh yes. The second time he stayed at a hotel!

The thing I miss about Windsor is the people, for sure. I had the time of my life, especially that last year and a half. Memories, however, fade with time. And alcohol. And there have been a lot of both that have taken their toll on me. I need to start reading to create new brain cells.

Andrea and I and Brandon (the guy she's seeing) and his friend (yah I forget his name but he was a DAMN funny guy) went to Boogie Fever on Saturday night. It was a great night, with lots of 'Napoleon Dynamite' references. Apple martinis are good!

Sunday was a chill out day. 'Team America' and 'In Good Company' are good movies. I had a lot of photos, and saw some of hers from years ago. We just talked, too, which was nice. However, my left eye started to bother me, as it did at the beginning of 4th year. Went to the clinic on Monday morning, got eyedrops, and then started to feel a little better.

Other blasts from my past this weekend were Moon (wow. that meeting was strange. Everything was the same, except now we're both dating people.....I still need to ask him what the deal was with his behaviour before I left last year....but his raging temper at the drop of a hat is still completely intact. Not so much 'temper' as 'passion', 'intensity', and 'heated debates to which he doesn't need to convince me of anything, but argues just for the sake of argument'.), Lindsey (love love LOVE her! She got me a Billy Talent shirt and a Big Boy bobble head! I miss her and wish I would have gotten to spend more time with her for sure), Kristen Siapas (who I found all THREE of her markings in the Big Dicks washroom....and she has a fabu apartment...but I missed the fireworks and Gord's birthday), Dave (met him randomly on the street and he says 'you're the last person I expected to see!'), Overton (why did he leave before we all went to the rippers?! WHY?), Deters (love. him. Kept complaining that he was married.....but his expression when I walked in the bar was priceless. At first he just smiled like I was Jenn's friend and said hi, and then I kept looking at him, and the curtain was LIFTED! He was like, OH! WOW! OH! etc. it was SO good. Come to think of it, Big Dicks was just great. That will always be my CHEERS.), and Jenn (Bless her soul. I kept her up all night. I LOVE YOU!!!!)

Damn it was fun. But being hungover and making the journey to Toronto kinda sucked. I obviously cannot drive for long distances anymore, as proven on Tuesday and then again today. Rest stops and naps are my friends. Picked Paul up from work yesterday, got groceries, pizza, and free chicken chicken! hahahahaha only he will understand that.

.......

.......

.......is that Brandy?!

Tonight Ottawa welcomes me home, where I must decide if I take the last bus to Toronto tomorrow night, or go home on Saturday. Need to look for an apartment and job, and Paul has Friday off, so we can pursue that. But I have NO TIME at home before leaving! My brother has expressed himself in the following way: 'I like it when you hang around'. awwwwww! Brother!

So basically, what will tomorrow bring?

Sleep, I hope

Travelling, although fun, is exhausting

2005-05-24T21:16:00.000-04:00

i am very tired. this will not end until i get back to toronto on thursday.

the weekend was absolutely brilliant.

must update tomorrow, however, seeing as paul's laptop is.....tempermental. the keys are, anyway.....

my brain simply cannot function anymore.

Whoops. I can't resist desire and lust.

2005-05-17T19:48:00.000-04:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts.

Your risk of cheating is high. You can't resist desire and lust.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Alright! FINE! Here's an Update!

2005-05-15T20:59:00.000-04:00

But it will be quick between commercials during 'Family Guy'

Best. Show. EVER.

That was my opinion six years ago (was it that long ago that Fox first cancelled it?!), and it remains to this day.

Alright. So I miss Ciaran. I must admit that I wasn't sure that this whole 'together' thing was going to work, since I was scared that I was one of those women that wants what she can't have, and then as soon as she actually GETS it, doesn't want it anymore.....

I still don't know. I am going to take things one day at a time, and see when Ciaran gets here.

46 days left

So this week (I've been back a week. UGH!) I have been attempting to see friends, watch all the episodes of 24 and South Park that I missed while overseas, and TRYING VERY HARD to pack and unpack five years of CRAPOLA.

I need to figure out what things need to go in the BIN, which need to be saved to sell or donated, which should be packed for when I get my own place, which can stay here until Canada Day and the winter, and what comes with me to Toronto asap.

Thing is, I have finally learnt my lesson. I will be living the minimum life in Toronto, or at least, I will try to.......I won't have 'my own place' until at least 2008, I recon.

But then part of me is saying: Why don't you just settle down for a couple years and THEN travel? Stay in one place long enough to earn lots of money and then go to Australia, etc etc

But I should really do my travelling before I am no longer considered a 'young person'.... that is to say before I turn 28. But then when the hell will I actually use the degree that I went to school for four years to earn!?!?! I want to try and audition or something while in Toronto, but I really want to sing more than anything. Seriously, I love it.

Sigh. Why must I fret about every. little. thing?

So basically........yah.

Ciaran rang tonight and inquired what was wrong. He says it sounds like I don't want to fall back into the role(s) that I played before I left the country. I have become a different person since living in Ireland, and I am seriously worried that I will resort back to 'Old Genevieve'. But what if I haven't changed? What if it's all in my mind?

wow. This 'American Dad' show isn't good at all. STOP TRYING TO BE FAMILY GUY!

that's it for now. I know that I need to write my stories about Prague, Vienna and Amsterdam, but they will have to come after I clean the wreckage that is my room.

Ciaran rang me tonight! WHEEEEEE!!!!!

2005-05-09T20:46:00.000-04:00

Random snippets of songs that I forgot I liked, but are still on my computer =)

Sidewalks - Story of the Year
The bridges all crumble
The water soakes into rocks
That fell at the bottom of the road
(At the end of the time)
The time that we lived in
The memories shaken apart from the weeds that grow...over the

Sidewalks
Running away from the streets we knew
Sidewalks
Like the time we thought was made for you

......

All of the days have passed us by
And all of the sun is gone away

Companion - Wide Mouth Mason ***will be my wedding song one day. Swear.***

......

Caught the waves that sprinkled the moon
And they kissed my body just beyond the shore
I talked you into a stone and skipped you across the water
Oh but it's me who's really sinking

Lay me down
Down on the bottom
Come crashing over me
Be a dancer as I walk beside you

Broken - Seether featuring Amy Lee (love it so much....here's the whole song!)
I wanted you to know
That I love the way you laugh
I want to hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph
And I know it serves me well
I want to hold you high and steal your pain

Cuz I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right
When you're gone away

You're gone away
You don't feel me here anymore

The worst is over now
And we can breathe again
I want to hold you high and steal my pain away
There's so much life to live
And no-one left to fight
I want to hold you high and steal your pain

Cuz I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cuz I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right
When you're gone away

Childlike Wildlife - Jason Mraz
Well I guess I'll treat her right
I guess I'll treat her right more this time
Try not to rely try not to rely on the perfect line
Well I see no bounderies
Except for the ones I'm in
And I don't expect you to overcome them
For that's my job description
In a world of players and private eyes unless you realize this
There's a whole lot that you could miss
Do you know which one I am?
I am the cigarette-smoking man
Say once an hour I light the flower and burn baby burn

..........

The Red Strokes - Garth Brooks
Moonlight on canvas, midnight and wine
Two shadows starting to softly combine
The picture they're painting
Is one of the heart
And to those who have seen it
It's a true work of art

Oh, the red strokes
Passions uncaged
Thundering moments of tenderness rage
Oh, the red strokes
Tempered and strong (Fearlessly drawn)
Burning the night like the dawn

Steam on the window, salt in a kiss
Two hearts have never pounded like this
Inspired by a vision
That they can't command
Erasing the borders
With each brush of a hand

......

Oh, the blues will be blue and the jealousies green
But when love picks its shade it demands to be seen

......

The Other Man - Sloan
You know he's not the one for you
But that's no fault of mine
He knows that I'm a friend of yours
But doesn't know I've crossed the line
I know you've got a man in the picture
But it hasn't stopped me yet
We've all been in one situation or another we regret

Now I'm the other man
No one's rooting for me
If I'm the other man
Nature will abhor me

You know I wanna keep my distance
'Cause it's happenin' anyway
He knows you're gonna drift apart
And there's nothing he can say
I know that he's a stand up guy
But that's none of my concern
We've all been in one situation or another
And it's my turn

To be the other man
No one sympathises
When you're the other man
Everyone despises

He's gonna find out that the rumours are true
Though they are still unbeknownst to you
He'll find out so I'll tell you because
You gotta find out before he does

.......

OH there are SO MANY MORE but people like Plain White T's don't have lyrics on their website and I'm too tired to listen and reprint lyrics that I hear because I have just gone through that with SOTY and Mraz......but so sososososososso good.

The updates of my holiday will be posted on Monday when I get home. PROMISE

2005-05-07T03:52:00.000-04:00

well kids, I must have done something right in my life, or else the good Lord is screwing with my head.

Ciaran told me last night that he wants me back.

He was being REALLY flirty (which is NOT like Ciaran at ALL) when I saw him last night, and he couldn't stop gushing about how good I looked. Which was strange, I thought, but I chalked it up to him not seeing me for almost a month.

We laughed with some of my friends, etc, etc, etc and of course I always want to kiss him, but don't, because we're just friends, so I was just being my adorable flirty self....

well I kept hugging him because i was happy to see him and I gave him a quick peck on the lips, and he didn't respond so I thought 'ok kool this friends thing hasn't bitten me in the arse yet, so i'll flow with it'

knoimean?

later he was hugging me and giving me quick little pecks on the forhead and cheeks etc etc etc and i finally yell 'KISS ME LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!!!!'

yes. Genevieve and her killer tactics.

well it worked, and I eventually pull away, laugh, and say that this friends thing is alright, and he's like......yah......about that......

hahahahahah but not in those exact words, of course. i mean, he IS irish like.

so he asks me if I want us to go together again.

Am I in the 1940s?!?!

he explains that sometimes you have to be without something for a while to make you appreciate it more and for you to realize what you had and how you miss it. Apparently (his words) I am a great girl who is so nice and kind and generous and friendly and gorgeous and great etc etc etc that he wants to be with me.

.....

.....

....

So, like, WHEN is the other shoe gonna drop this time?

I explained my concerns to him, since I don't want him to wake up one morning and realize that he doesn't like me like that anymore. Dont really think I can go through that again. I don't really remember his response, but it was something along the lines of that will never happen, etc etc etc

Whatev. no expectations this time around

ACTUALLY he is the biggest sweetheart because before all this happened, I had brought up the fact that we weren't going to be able to have dinner, since we had been at the bar since 8pm, and I suggested that maybe we go out tomorrow night for a last meal sorta thing

to which he replies, and he MUST like me for him to do this cuz he certainly didn't last time we were going out:

i'm taking you to little ceasars in rathfarnam. I made reservations for tomorrow night.

AAAAAAAAA!

I think this is the best thing EVER, but explain to him that I'm glad he told me because i was supposed to have dinner tomorrow night with the ex-housemates, but that looks as though it's not gonna happen because apparently they don't care. whatever go to h, e, double hockey sticks.

the rest of the night was r-a-n-dom, including a schpeil about how he thinks we should live together. but this is after we kissed, and before he tells me he wants me back, and i'm like, 'well we can't live together cuz that would be weird because you'd be bringing girls home sometimes etc' and he asked if i wanted it that way, to which started the conversation about getting back together

he looks SO cute right now. he is sleeping in my make-shift bed in ed's living room because we came home at 4am. TOTALLY PG, might I add, because that's what Genevieve's life is like these days. I love it.

Unfortunately I am dreading the moment he wakes up and realizes what a mistake he made and proceeds to dump me again. Le Sigh.

I kept telling him last night after he kept telling me how amazing i was, that I am really annoying deep down and he'll grow to hate me after living with me for a couple of days. hahahahah don't worry paul this does not apply to you. i hope ;)

he answers by telling me that would never happen, and he reccons that we might fight a lot, but then five minutes later we'll get over it and go have a beer. much like paul and i will hopefully do ;)

i have to stop being paranoid that he'll dump me again. also, is he only doing this because he comes to canada in 6 weeks and i'm the only person that he knows so he wants to stake his claim with me?

ugh

i am making myself ill with stress.

but besides that last night was brilliant. the aussie girls that i met in amsterdam came out (long story, will explain monday) and we had a BALL. we're sad that i'm leaving because we only met last week and should have met earlier, as to have good times for longer than just a poxy week.

this is a long post! wow! And now, as a reward for reading this far down, here are some fun treats (requires sound. a Good time for all, I assure you.)

http://www.heinekenexperience.com/vidEmail.jsp?uid=E4F4550658F883B504D195A549406537&vid=GENEVIEVE290405151331.wmv&host=hexperience2.bitmove.tv&format=wmv

the sound at the end is me laughing, as you can tell by my face, but Heineken doesn't like laughter, so it comes out as a scratchy sound.

http://www.heinekenexperience.com/vidEmail.jsp?uid=E8F039871344B6A5B3147531D7705303&vid=ERINJEN290405151913.wmv&host=hexperience3.bitmove.tv&format=wmv

this last one is Erin and I, and we apparently talk on top of one another. She is american and was SO chill! I met her while waiting to sign in at the hostel ;)

there is a video of me attempting to be artistic by 'being' a bottle at the heineken brewery, but that will not be posted here. should you wish to view it, you know where to find me ;)

.......but the real reason that i'm not posting it is because i look FAT!

the next time I post it will be at home, on Monday. OR perhaps from Phili on my 6 hour layover. whichever.

wow. I come home tomorrow.

WOW. I have a boyfriend again.

Genevieve's life = random. and lovin' it!

Things I've learnt during my travels:

2005-05-06T10:45:00.000-04:00

Always bring a bar of soap with you, or some sani-wipes. And tissues!

Don't say 'What?'; say 'Pardon?', 'Excuse me?', or 'Sorry.....What?'

Don't go to the opening night party of a new gay bar and eat the free delicious appetizers. They will make you ill the next day.

Pack more socks, underwear, batteries, and film than you think you need, since you will always run out if you're not prepared.

Careful of puke, dog, and horse dung on street corners in the early morning. Careful of DRUNKS in the early morning.

To fit in with the locals, and to avoid crazy/creepy people talking to you, walk around with a grumpy/sour/pissed off look on your face. Or pretend to have a nervous tick or twitch. Or try and make yourself look uglier and/or fatter than you really are.

If the above fails and rude men still leer at you, glance at them a few times, pissed off like, to give them a hint. If by the third time they are still STARING at you, then look at them right in the eye and say in a loud voice: CAN I HELP YOU? This will end the staring for good, especially if done on a crowded Paris Metro at dinnertime.

Smile at nice looking people, and the elderly (but not the elderly-creepy)

Tip. Its good karma.

Try and take notes as you take photos, to remember what the hell that building with the big green dome is. And what city, etc.

Drink loads of water. EXPERIENCE NEW FOOD IN DIFFERENT CULTURES!

Kiss cute boys, especially Australians.

Chat up other Canucks when you see the flags on their packs, but meet people from other countries as well. Diversity is key when travelling.

Never make fun of the locals, unless they know you're taking the piss.

Don't get drunk a lot, or you won't remember your adventures. That, and you'll lose money. Or spend it on ridiculous trips to KFC at 3 in the morning.

Visit a foreign country during their national holiday. It's the best way to gain an understanding of the culture and people.

Just sit and people-watch. Thats my favourite.

Don't trust men. Seriously. You think some of them are different, but they are not. They just want to spread their seed. Its gross.

Arrive at the airport two hours early for every flight, and four hours early for trans-Atlantic flights. You never know when security will be random.

Ask for your passport to be stamped at every airport. Compare with your friends!

Flirt.

Don't develop crushes on people that you can never ever ever ever have. It sucks!

Take a multivitamin.

Walk around a city without looking at your map every five seconds.

Lock the compartment of your bag with your passport and money inside it, especially when walking around a crowded city.

In hostels, sleep with your keys underneath your pillow.

When taking the overnight trains in Europe, lock your sleeping compartment or you will get robbed.

Don't bring anything with you on holiday that can't be replaced with €20.

Ask questions and listen intently.

Remember to sleep the night before getting up early to take the train/airplane to another city. Do not stay up all night and then saunter into the train station/airport, because you will procede to pass-out very shortly after arriving.

Do not buy a soft-served ice cream cone and then decide to go through the Red Light District with your friends.

Cry when you're sad, and laugh like an idiot when you're happy.

Love every minute of it, and cherish the memory when it's over.

STAY
IN
TOUCH

2005-05-01T04:30:00.000-04:00

I must do something productive today.

I have nary slept but a few hours!

Happy Queen's Day!

2005-04-30T12:07:00.000-04:00

Never in my life have I seen a party quite as much on par than with Queens Day here in Amsterdam. The beer is flowing, there are parties in the street, and SEAS of orange! (they're colour?)

Makes me happy that I'll be in Toronto for pride, but sad that certain people aren't here to share this with me.....cuz they would have a FRIKKEN BLAST!!!!

so start saving, kids. A'dam April 28-May 3 2006.

alright

2005-04-29T20:33:00.000-04:00

so I just checked out ET.com, and idolonfox, and paul's blog.

I have no idea what is going on in north america.

so May/December and December/May romances are hott hott hott!

.
.
.
.
.
ew.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're out. I have to check out tomorrow and then DRINK! ;)

Hmmm...

2005-04-24T19:11:00.000-04:00

So it turns out that hottie in my room has a girlfriend. Fine. But hottie has a friend. who is hott. so we're getting him drunk as we speak. hahahahaha

walked ALL around vienna today, so my feet were absolutely KILLING me, but my legs moreso. I think that I have really bad veins, because my left leg THROBS whenever I walk too much.....

Took my roommates to an African restaurant that I wanted to visit (that was in the tour book that I took out of the library), but it was closed. Like, out o business. So we went to the Indian place arou d the corner and it was very very good. Tomorrow Adam (hot roomate) and I are supposed to go to the fair at the main park in Veinna. I also have to go buy chocolate for ciaran, who HAS NOT EMAILED ME BACK YET. I am thinking that he is illiterate when it comes to the internet and that he gave me the wrong email address.....

sigh

I am so missing him right now. how sad is my life?!?!!

but Vienna DOES rawk. Schpreuken die Duetch?

Oh how my German sucks ASS

2005-04-23T18:11:00.000-04:00

In Vienna.....after not having slept AT ALL last night.....so technically have been up for something like 41 hours.....NOT KOOL

but last night was a S T O R Y........hahahahahah i clearly digress

Was practically in tears because of my complete utter lack of german, no sleep, and just plain confusedness at Austrian culture.....although from the train window Austria looks a lot like Canada.......plain fields of green and wheat things with random mountains in distant background..

i thought that the sound of music and cabaret soundrack would be constatnly goi g through my head while i was here.....and they have been. met some canadians, and the HOTTT guy that is staying in my room. ouch. so hott. he is staying til wed, and i til monday. i will ask him out for drinks tomorrow?

loads to tell, not enough time here.

but why has ciaran not emailed me back yet?!?!?!?!?!? UGH!

Good Morning from PRAHA!

2005-04-21T04:57:00.000-04:00

I went drinking last night. Bad idea. Because now I'm running on a combined 18 hours sleep since Sunday night. My head hurts.

On the plus side, I have an amazing sense of direction! I walked out of my hostel, down a hill (that will be a BITCH to climb back up), turned left, and followed the road all the way into town!

'Got to be good-looking cause you're so hard to see'

oh the Beatles win.

Me and some Aussies, Americans, and a Canuck went to a pub last night. It was smokey. I am ill. But everything is cheap here! (internet for 20 min is 20CZK. that's like.......50 cents. not even)

I am going to head out now and walk a little further into town and meet Despina and Tina. You know how I was worried about taking the bus and metro all alone at night? Well, it wasn't bad at all because the entire airport got on the same bus! hahahahahaha

and whilst on the bus, the Brazilian couple in front of me started talking to me and we were staying in the same hostel!! The scariest part was the really NOT lit street that wehad to walk down at 11pm. Not kool. But I'm here now, so it's all good.

The funniest thing about all my travels so far is all the Americans that I have met. They are a funny lot. First of all, I can spot an American accent from four towns over. And you know I love my american friends, but most of the american travellers that I have met have been kind of... well........not too bright.

And i'm not saying that it's everyone, because there are some SMART yanks out there. !!!

But I swear to God yesterday at the bus stop 5 americans asked me where and how I got my ticket. I told them the story as follows (well, not the ENTIRE story....only you guys are that lucky)

The bank only gave me CZK in 500 notes. The bus costs 12CZK. I went to the exchange place in Gatwick and asked for anything smaller, and he only had 100...fine! Then whilst waiting for my baggage, I went to another exchange place, asked nicely and told them that I needed to take the bus. VOILA! He gives me 50CZK and some coins. I go out to the bus stop, to the yellow machine, press my button and put in my 20CZK coin, and out comes my ticket and change! (but I had to use two machines....the first one didn't like me)

So basically Prague is good. Haven't tried Absynthe yet but the beer sure is alright. No more beer though. I emailed my parents drunk last night! They are having a blast on their cruise and are passing through the Panama canal today. Damn i'm so jealous because it's SEVEN DEGREES IN PRAGUE!!!!!!

Gotta jet. It's 11am!

p.s.......breakfast was a buffet for 99CZK, and I ate aLOT. i feel kinda gross. But I made myself a sandwich for later, and took a yogurt and some hazelnut spread!!! A la TRUE Genevieve ;)

Free food! Sure. Why not? ;)

Adventures in London.....or....why you should always bring spare runners!

2005-04-20T04:29:00.000-04:00

So after moving out of my house I stayed with the boys, got almost no sleep, and then went home early from work (well, only 2 hours early.....STUPID HEAVY WORK LOAD!) to go to sleep. Did just that (after eating a late lunch) and then woke up when Ed came home (2 hour nap). Stayed up until he left, then did some more packing, then Tony came home and we ordered pizza and I ate way too much and then I went to bed after talking to Ciaran. AT TEN PM. Not that I'm complaining about talking to him, because he was great and fantastic and told me that he was going to miss me about three times, and that he ALREADY missed me, seeing as I wasn't at the gym on monday for the first night in like four months. hahahahaha!

Ciaran and Genevieve....the perfect relationship......only as friends.

So I went to bed at like 10-10:30pm, but couldn't sleep. SO EXCITED! I fell asleep prolly around half 11. Got up (because I was paranoid of missing my alarm since I had called a cab to come and pick me up at 3:45am) at 2:05am. Screw it, I said, I'm not gonna try and fall back asleep for another half hour so I can just be more tired than I am right now! Went online, chatted with Paul and Nate (briefly), and then we were off.

Waited for the damn bus to the airport for 45 minutes. I HATE YOU AIRCOACH! But I'm not about to blow 30 quid for a cab to take me there. So I wait. With wet hair. In the freezing cold morning air. (hey! that rhymed!) A drunk old guy on a bike comes and talks with me for 20 minutes. Cabbies drive on as though I'm not looking like the most UNCOMFORTABLE PERSON IN THE WORLD!

Finally the bus comes. Check in doesn't take long, neither does the ridiculous line for security (in which I have enough time to paint my nails!). But since the EU commissioner on airport security came down to Dublin last week, security has since changed and become more hardcore. Some people completely missed their flights on the weekend because of the huge queues!

They made me take off my shoes. CANVUS RUNNERS, for crap's sake!!!! Hope they enjoyed the smell ;)

Long story short, since this is ultimately about my runners, is that I didn't sleep much that night, or on the plane over, or on the train into the city.....combined sleep: 4 hours, IF at that. So I get to Amanda's (from first year! I was staying with Amanda Bosma and Trisha!!! wheeeee!) work and get her keys and then off for a day of sightseeing.....I made it until 3pm. then I had to go and nap before meeting the girls at 5:30pm.

But in London, like in Dublin, rain and sunshine come and go all the time in the same day. So, fine. But then I decided to do a walking tour, and it was raining and my canvus runners got WET. When they are wet, they smell like MOULDY ASS. did I spell moldy correctly?

I went to get some sushi, sat it down on my leg, and mixed the wasabi and soy sauce in a container. Wind comes along, blows my sushi bag, I spill EVERYTHING ALL OVER ME

but my time is going to run out so I went to their house, wahsed my jeans, put on my runners, and went out to dinner. WILL ELABORATE FURTHER LATER

HAPPY BIRFFFDAY PAUL RIVAIT! you win!

have no time left. gotta press post!

Ugh. Get me to BED!

2005-04-18T09:46:00.000-04:00

I dreamt about Bam Margera last night. I was living in his house for a year and hanging out with him and the boys and I woke up just before my one year anniversary, which was December 30.

He is so hottt, I would die to hang out with him. Have no idea who he is? Google him, my friends. G O O G L E and oogle. Yum.

So US Airways decided to cancel my flight without telling me. I am now leaving Dublin at 1:45pm, arriving in Phili at 4:15pm, and then after my SIX HOUR LAYOVER, arriving in Ottawa at 11:45pm.

SUCK IT, US Airways.

I’m going to try and haul ass from terminal A to terminal F (Phili has a huuuuge airport) in time to catch the 5:40pm flight, but I don’t know if I’ll make it. Perhaps if I try switching my seat so that I sit on the front of the plane? Also, I won’t know until the day I fly out, but I will beg and plead to go through US Customs in Dublin instead of in Phili. Plus, I will get my bags to be checked straight through. Hopefully that will work out for me. PLEASE PRAY. Or bribe the necessary officials.

So basically I still want people to come to Ottawa, in hopes that I will catch the early flight and land at 7:20pm. Ugh

Well, at least I found out now, and not two days before my flight, when you’re supposed to ring them to confirm your flight details!!

Besides that I am very very tired this morning. Saturday night was a hoot, simply because all of my friends had been drinking since 10am, and so when I joined them at 10pm, there was not one in the lot who was not in the bag. I stayed out very late that night, and had a good lie in on Sunday. I finished packing, Gary drove me to the boys house, we went to McDonalds (I know. But I was hungover. That’s my excuse.) and then I cleaned. Everyone in the house came to say bye to me, and I was like whatever I’ll see you in May. It was kinda sad, but kinda good. Sad because that was my home, and part of me will miss it, but good because I didn’t really mesh well with the housemates. I mean I did, but there was a huge age gap and they were too gay to look past that. I cant wait for my next gay roommate! Who is actually gay! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! =)
Unfortunately, I started to cry as Gary and I pulled out of he driveway. I am sad and hormonal, so sue me. Last night was fun at the boys apartment…..they made spaghetti (YUM) and we watched ‘Something About Mary’, and then Tony and I watched Family Guy. That being said, it sucks because I live in the living room, and have to wait until THEY go to bed before I can go to bed. So at 1:30am, I packed it in. I am BEYOND tired this morning…..
My flight leaves at 6:30am tomorrow morning, and so I have to see when the first bus leaves Heuston station to go to the airport. Thanks to new, harder security checks, I’ll have to be there at like 5am. Not too pleased, but anyway. Should any of you be up at 11pm onwards, give me a call.

Leaving work now. BYE!

Three parts to every story:

2005-04-12T09:15:00.000-04:00

My skin is like a map where my heart has been
And I can count the marks, but it’s not a negative thing

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree

I bruise easily
Can’t scratch the surface without moving me underneath

I’m learning to fly with no safety net to cushion the blow

Anyone who can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you
Anyone who can reach you, can love you, or leave you

(totally not my words, but borrowed (without permission. oops!) from Natasha Beddingfield
*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I had a dream about Ciaran last night. Nothing major, of course, but he was dating the new girl that works at the gym (in reality, this would never happen…she’s not much to look at but she is really nice), except it wasn’t her face, you know? Here’s the kicker: I was SO jealous! I could FEEL the rage and jealousy pumping through my veins, so much so that I think it woke me up.

The truth is, if Ciaran started dating someone, I probably WOULD be jealous, even though I would be happy for him…but maybe some part of me still hopes that he’ll choose me, you know? I’m not usually a jealous person, so why am I feeling like this? ABOUT A BLOODY DREAM, no less?

And should I tell him about it? The dream, I mean….
I think that I dreamt about that because we talked on the phone last night before I fell asleep, and we were talking about his ex-friend Tracy (she being to him a sort of Moon/Jimi mix to me….if you even understand what that means, which most of you won’t, and its too long to get into on THIS blog, that’s fo damn sho) who he stopped talking to (funninly enough) the day before we broke up. Too much drama with him and her, and with me and mine. We should all just save the dramas for our mamas.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I found someone to take my room! Her name is Karine and she's from Ottawa and goes to Queens. She'll be here on the 21st of April, and is staying until the end of June. Gary is happy the I helped him out. Good. I like it when there are no hard feelings between anyone when things just don't work out! Ger and Susi get back tonight, so I might skip out on the gym in order to clean, etc......or just go later. Whichever.

Paul: talk to Sedina about coming to Ottawa to meet me! She wants to come, I think....which is SUPER cuz then we can wear our three matching jewelled sticker thingies!!!!!

Seacrest out

Monday Monday

2005-04-11T08:10:00.000-04:00

This weekend was sheer brilliance. I did absolutely nothing. I should have packed, I should have cleaned, but alas all I did was sit on my pretty little butt and watch telly. Ciaran came over on Saturday and Sunday (though not very long both days) and we just chilled. It was great. I love hanging out with him! He is such a great guy; he really listens to what I have to say (when he’s not talking my ear off…hahahaha) and he’s starting to feed off my energy and excitement about Toronto. He’s going to miss me, too. We were talking on the phone yesterday after he left (and when I realized that texting back and forth all night was going to cost us both a fortune) and it’s true: I have been a constant in his life since January. I mean, we saw each other briefly here and there at the gym before the new year, but it was really in January that our relationship started. And by relationship, I mean friendship and then etc. Its going to be weird for him not having me around….I mean, it’ll be weird for me too, but I’m more accustomed to leaving someone that I’ve spent so much time with and not really missing them. Except Moon. I missed him when I first came here….but we talked on the phone (until he got a girlfriend), and Ciaran and I will do that. There’s always email and text messaging! Don’t get me wrong: I missed my other friends too, but in a different way. I knew that I would see them again and everything would be peachy. With Moon, I knew that it could never be the way that it was before I left….and it never will be. That’s kinda sad.
But Ciaran is pumped to come to Toronto, and so am I. He says that after I leave it’ll really sink in for him that he’s leaving soon, and he’ll start to get ready and everything. I move out in six days!!! I finish up here (at work) in a week, and then come back for two days after my holiday. To tell the truth, I might be knackered from all my traveling, so I think I might take the morning off on the first day back….but I’ll see how much they need me. =)
Besides that, there’s really not too much to tell. I’m sending Paul a huge package this week, and by the size and weight of it, my guess is that it’ll put me back about 60 quid. OUCH! Mamas package will probably be smaller, if not WAY lighter than Pauls. But it’ll mostly be winter clothes and things that I won’t need til the two months it will take to actually cross the ocean!Gorgeous day today, so of course I didn’t take my bike in. It sucks because when it looks nice in the morning, it’ll usually rain during the day, and when the morning looks overcast, like it did today, it gets sunny later on. Like right now. Ugh.

Anyway I am replying to 2 emails of Canucks that are interested in my room: Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!

One Month From Today....

2005-04-08T08:30:00.000-04:00

There is only one month left in my journey.

Exactly a month.

30 days.

720 hours? That doesn't seem right. 840?

I'm still torn between wanting to stay here with my nice life, good job, and great friends that are staying behind. Torn between that and moving on to experience a whole other city with new (and old) friends, a new (and possibly better?) job, and different prospects.

A chapter of my life is closing and another will soon begin.

And at times like these (and especially because of the BRILLIANT care package that Andrea sent me), I find myself looking back at a chapter of my life that I didn't want to close. I miss Andrea. I miss Lindsey. I miss my friends and classmates from Windsor. I miss Kim, Jay, Erin Lambert, Christine, and all my other friends. I miss my family (but that goes without saying). I miss Moon. I miss walking down the street to go to Big Dicks during exams, when the sun was bright and beautiful and warm and Jenn, Moon and I sat at the Princess table and attempted to 'study'. I miss the way I felt after my last Jury (for all those non-Windsorites, a Jury is a singers' vocal exam. A singing exam, if you will). I miss spending all day at the Rankin house watching season 5 of Sex and the City after a big party the night before. I miss rehearsals, funnily enough! I miss hopping in my car and going to concerts. I miss seeing my favourite musicians play a set, and chatting with them afterwards. I MISS MY CAT!

When I leave, I will miss my friends. I will miss Double Decker buses. I will miss the Euro (its so cute and tiny! Unlike huge huge Canadian dollars which are now DIFFERENT! argh) and all the countries that I could visit without having to change my money. I will miss my gorgeous mobile plan. I will try and KEEP the same mobile overseas. I will miss the accents; everyone in Canada sounds the same. I will miss the freedom I felt when I moved here and no-one knew anything about me. That will change when I go home: everyone has known me for some time, and knows my baggage, etc, etc, etc. I will miss my job. I will miss earning MONEY (for that month when I am jobless. aka suckstobepoor time). I will miss how Thursday is the new Friday, and how random nights of drinking and going out usually occur. I will miss Starburst Fruit Jellies, Revels, Nude, white pudding, Double Decker chocolate bars and €1.50 plates of sushi after 10:30pm. I will miss Ciaran (that is, until he comes to Canada, please God). I will even miss British music.

I will NOT miss the trashiness of some of the people and places in this city. I will not miss stupid ringtone ads every five minutes on telly. I will not miss the backwardness of this society re: banking, recycling and general lifestyle. I will not miss my roommates (sorry. but i won't.) I will not miss butter, or tea, or Guinness. I will not miss the cold that cuts right down to your bones. I will not miss streaky rashers, sausages, black pudding or really bad drivers. I will certainly not miss the Bank of Ireland. Nor will I miss the ridiculousness that a fuller-bottom girl has to go through to find jeans in this country. I will not miss Paddy Casey.

I am looking forward to warm sunny days, walking around my new neighbourhood. To wearing a floppy hat, tank top, flowy skirt and flip flops and heading down to Kensington Market with Paul and Sedina. To getting together for drinks with Alanna and Natalia. To living in a really really big city. To going on auditions?

I can't wait to get hugs without ever having to ask for them.

Basically I will always be torn. Just wait until reality sets in that I'm actually back home. It'll be tears from here to Paraguay. Or U R Gay. whichever.

....

You see how I do that?!? Ruin a beautifully poetic post with random inappropriate humour to 'lighten the mood'.

....

Paul and I will get on fine, I figure.

While Everyone else is away at a meeting....

2005-04-06T05:07:00.000-04:00

.....I POST!

So I started dreaming about it last night. My coming home, that is. I am kinda freaked out! I was chatting with Ciaran this morning, and he said that a year ago today I must have been starting to come over here.......a year ago today I don't know exactly where I was, but I figure it was between grad parties and exams of sorts. I feel the same way now as I did a year ago: nervous, excited, and kind of apprehensive.

I absolutely love my job. Turns out that I can come to work fo three extra days, in order to get some extra cash before I leave! =) I'm busy at the moment, and will have to use my lunch hour to go to USIT and write a message to anyone who wants a room in a house in Churchtown and post it on their board. Next week I close my bank account and get some Czek money and some pounds (Sterling, not fat) and then move out of my house! Ciaran is coming over on Saturday to watch Goodfellas and order Goodfellas pizza.

Oh yah, and the roommates that disapprove of noise are GONE ALL WEEK! they will be back sometime next week. Who cares? Certainly not me. I practically have the house to myself.... except if Gary stays over. That would kind of suck.

And I think that I am worsening my problem. Now, not only do I see fat people everywhere, but I am starting to feel guilty if I dont go to the gym everyday and I am not looking forward to eating pizza on Saturday because I don't want to deter my progress.

Genevieve not looking forward to eating PIZZA?!? I am officially sick.

Plus, I can't really go to the gym tonight since I kinda sprained my ankle doing a Super Circuit class that Ciaran was teaching yesterday. I fell off a step. It didn't hurt at first, but today it is painful to walk on. So I cycled into work.

Im supposed to meet Ed for dinner but since we are both poor he wants me to come over to his house at 8pm. I'm such an old fogey!! 8pm is late to me. Its usually close to bedtime. I know it sounds sad, but getting sleep is very very VERY important to me!!! Especially since it probably wont happen a lot when I go home. Whatev. Roommies are gone, so I might invite HIM over, and then he can just stay the night or something. Otherwise, I might go over to HIS and stay the night. Test out that spare bed that I'll be crashing on for 5 nights or so....

Ok gotta go. Ive got an inclination (the same that's sweeping the nation) but not for penetration no its for urination. Ive got to visit the station and feel the sensation.

Ponder THIS, if you will....

2005-04-04T11:48:00.000-04:00

Why is it that bumper cars on this side of the Atlantic are the same as in North America, even though the steering wheel is found on the Right side of the car here in Ireland and in Britain?

....The steering wheels in the bumper cars that Mar and I experienced the weekend of Paddys day were on the Left side of the car. Just like at home.

Wouldn't that screw up the people that are used to driving on the other side of the car? Or is that the point?

And by people, I mean the parents that were driving their kids in the bumper cars, and not the kids themselves.

2005-04-04T08:48:00.000-04:00

Today I spent my lunch hour (well…..half hour……ish) wrapping two packages in brown paper in order to mail them. I am slowly starting to rearrange things in my room in order to get ready to pack/move out early. I have not told Gary yet, but hopefully I will see him tonight. The plan is to move in with the boys either on the 17th or 18th. That’s in two weeks!!! I hope that Gary won’t be too pissed, but I did give him a little more than two weeks notice. I just honestly can’t afford it. What I CAN afford, however, is a few cans and to make the boys a few home cooked meals. WAAAY cheaper.

This weekend was relaxing. I did not go out, although I was invited over to Elizabeths’ twice. Saturday night I was way too sore to go out (Thank you very much, Super Circuit class of hell), so I stayed in and stared at Dec for an hour. Mmmmm -- Telly love! Friday night I watched ‘A Life Less Ordinary’ after getting home from the gym. Saturday I made chilli and yesterday I made chickpea and tomato ‘soup’ with split red lentils. I had some for my lunch today. Yummerooooo

I had debated staying here for another month in order to save up some money for when I am jobless during the first few weeks of living in Toronto, but have ultimately decided against it. If any of you have any job leads (ANY….but hopefully more professional-ish ones) in the GTA, please let me know.

Can I express my annoyedness at the new wave of lesbians all over the place?!?

Hahahahah if you don't know me very well, upon reading that last sentence you might think I was a big fat homophobe.

But seriously. You do NOT need to make one of your lead characters a lesbian in order to get ratings! (The O.C.....you KNOW I'm talking about you!) Being a lesbian is NOT the latest fashion accessory, or something to do when you're bored and want attention. STOP trying to be bisexual, all of you little poser teens, and get a life. In fact, being a lesbian is so hip, kool and trendy nowadays, that I will never become one.

So there.

How ya like me now?

>>>>>R.I.P Pope John Paul II<<<<<

Happy Friday

2005-04-01T09:46:00.000-05:00

Well, well, well. NOW my mother is reading my blog. Everyone say hello, and for &*£%(^&s sake, clean up your language!

Things I forgot to mention in the past:

I got Marianthi hooked on the fabulousness that is Ant and Dec. They have a show in London called ‘Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway’ and it is fantastic. They have celebrity guests, play fake gameshows with unsuspecting audience members, have mini versions of them who interview big name guests, and they compete against each other every week for points. You see, takeaway (take out, eating out) is very popular in Britain and in Ireland. Every Saturday night, it is kind of like a tradition, depending on whose house you visit. For example in Alison’s family, every Saturday night they have Sweet and Sour Chicken, fried rice, and chips. Like, fries, not potato chips.
So I took a shining to Ant and Dec right away…..mostly because I’m in love with Dec. Mmmmmm Declan Donnolly. http://www.itv.com/page.asp?partid=2258 the one on the right.
So basically she wanted to know who won last week. The challenge was to write an original song about Charles and Camilla’s wedding, which they (Ant and Dec, not Horseface and Uglypants) had to sing with G4.
G4, as you may not be aware, came in second place of Simon Cowells’ last ‘popstars’ type show over here entitled ‘X Factor’, in which there was no age limit or limit on type of group/singer. For example, the guy who won is this Steve guy (he was 43, I think…) who I haven’t heard anything on since the end of the show, but G4 are these 4 guys who sing random songs in an opera-type of way. Like ‘My Way’, ‘Everybody Hurts’, and my personal favourite, their single at the moment, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’……yes……the same one by Queen. Only in opera.

So basically Dec won the challenge. He broke his arm three weeks back preparing for a challenge, which was to drive a motorcycle through a hoop of fire. They showed him breaking his arm, when he crashed his bike, and it looked painful. Anyway, they are really funny guys, so you should check them out.

I think that I am going to move out of my place on April 18th. I leave on the 19th to go on extended holiday, and to be paying rent for three weeks that I’m not there seems atrocious. I explained it to Gary yesterday, who seemed to be understanding, but I didn’t say that I was going to move out…..he says it’s fine as long as theres someone there to take my room….but I never signed a lease or agreement of any kind. So I’m just going to ask the guys if I can stay with them for 5 days. Hopefully they will agree, PLEASE GOD! After all, I did buy them three pizzas and two garlic breads the other day.

Let me further explain the previous ‘talk’ with Gary: I explained my poor, poor situation, raising the issue of perhaps I could only pay 100 euro for the time I am going to be away (3 weeks). He said that he would check into it for me. I know that its not financially viable for him to say yes to this, but at least he’d be getting SOME rent, right? Plus, all my stuff would already be packed, etc so that if he found someone who wanted to move in right away, they could. I mean, I don’t want to be a bitch, but I’m not going to give him €300 when I’m not even going to be LIVING there!!! How can I get this to NOT end badly? The only way, I figure, is to move out early. Sure, I miss out on the free lifts to the airport early in the morning when my flights leave ridiculously early, but I can always suck it up and take the bus like a normal shmo. Suggestions are welcomed, please!

Speaking of not giving money away when I don’t use services rendered: I am going to close my bank account in two weeks so that the gym doesn’t take money out of my account for April membership fees, of which I will not be using the gym for the time I am away. This sucks because
a) I’m kind of screwing the gym over, even though I explained that this probably had to happen when I joined
b) I won’t have a bank account anymore (which doesn’t really matter except for the 4 days I’ll be back in Ireland before I leave for home)
c) I won’t be able to USE the gym for the 4 days that I’m in Dublin before I leave. But if I live with the boys, then there would be no point to go back to Dundrum.

I think I will have Ciaran check to see if they have my Canadian address in my file. I don’t think they do, but I don’t want any ‘surprises’ to come in the post, like they have so many times before…..in the form of parking tickets that I thought I had avoided by simply not paying them.

*NEWSFLASH* !!! If they have your license plate number, THEY KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. Regardless of its in Chicago or at your University. They will find you out.

Let that be a lesson to you, kids.
That’s it for me as of the moment, but I will probably update this puppy tomorrow. I am going to try to go to the library, and I have to start packing. Am I going out tomorrow night? Dunno, since I really don’t have the funds. =/

I....am....your singing telegramBANG!

2005-03-30T08:05:00.000-05:00

That is for Paul, because I remember Clue.

1.
2. WHAT COLOUR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING? --- white, but they were accidently dyed red-ish whilst washing new sweater. Gym underwear! YES>>
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? --- 'She's The One' by the magnificant Robbie Williams. yum.>>
4. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? --- Just finished lunch actually! M+S Soup (Sweet Potato and Coconut?) and carrots. >>
5. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? --- um......blue green. NOT green blue.>>
6. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? --- dunno. looks like overcast. As per usual in Dublin!>>
7. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? --- ooooo good question! *thinks for a minute* The random guy that rang me from the Cork office yesterday asking me to do his work for him.....in so many words. hahahahah i'm just a temp!>>
8. THE 1st THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? --- hair.>>
9. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS --- YES I DO contrary to what she may actually think ;)>>
10. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? --- well rested, unlike yesterday.>>
11. WOTS UR FAV THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? --- She is one of the most caring, understanding, and helpful people I have ever met in my life. She deserves all the happiness that can be thrown at her. (That was Anna Routledge, former roommate, that I was talking about there)
12. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK – no. more. booze!>>
13. FAVOURITE SPORT? Footie. or for you North Americans, soccer>>14. Hair colour --- really really dark brown. I want to dye it again!!!>>
15. EYE COLOUR? --- green. i think>>
16. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? --- nope. tried to watch the Osbournes when Jack was putting his in and i couldnt do it!!!!>>
17. FAVOURITE MONTH? --- Has to be August cuz of my birthday, and the gorgeous weather. It would be December because of Christmas, but its too damn cold!>>
18. FAVOURITE FOOD? --- Pizza, chocolate crepes, and starburst fruit jellies.
>20. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? --- hahahahahahahahah not anymore. Asked Ciaran out all by myself!
>21. SUMMER OR WINTER? --- summer>>
22. HUGS OR KISSES? --- well, i'm lacking on the hug department nowadays>>
23. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? --- Relationships
24. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? --- Vanilla. Unless its Butlers chocolate>>
25. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? --- i'm posting this on my blog, so no. they cant>>
26. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? --- Paul will reply to my blog. he always does ;)>>
27.WHO IS MOST LIKELY NOT TO RESPOND? --- everyone else!>>
28. WHO ARE YOUR FAVE CELEBS? --- Jordan, Peter Andre, Robbie Williams, Nadia from BB5, Kerry Katona, Bryan McFadden......ugh. just joking. No one, actually.>>
29. FAVOURITE JEWEL? --- the singer sold out and therefore sux>>
30. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? -- slept like a loser. YES!>>
31. LAST PLACE YOU WENT ON HOLIDAY? --- London. But am going to Prague and Vienna in THREE WEEKS!>

ACK! Cant finish the rest, lunchtime is over. sorry gang!!!!

but here is something to leave you with:

....nevermind I cant post it. Paul, please reply and post the picture of me as a South Park character for everyone to see!!!

but please note that it does not include any piercings of mine, of which there are many.

LOVE YOU! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoetc

Every little thing she does is magic

2005-03-29T07:21:00.000-05:00

Can I just admit to you my crush on American Idol? Yes, you probably already know (judging in my previous taste in guys) that his name is Constantine. Yum. ........well, kind of yum. It all depends, sometimes.

So Easter weekend, huh?

It was fairly quiet, save the party that Erin had on Friday night. Killer. Tony (Australia that lives with Ed) and I were one of the last to leave. WHY? I had not planned on staying late, or drinking much, and I didn't end up drinking that much! But I did leave late. Therefore plans on Saturday night did not really happen, since I lazed around for pretty much all of Saturday, doing nothing particularily interesting. But I did walk into town from my house on Friday! It took less than an hour and a half to get from Dublin 14, where I live, to Dublin 8, where Ed and Tony live (and where I used to work....Frawleys)

No offense to the fine people of Dublin, but Thomas street (D8 without exeption) is pretty trashy and ghetto. Even the babies are chavs! I am not here to judge, and I will certainly never print what I think *here*, but you will hear all about it when I get home.

Which, as Ciaran and I figured on Easter, is 6 weeks.

Speaking of Easter, I was unaware that we put our clocks forward! North America does it next week (April 2nd?), so keep in mind that until then I am 6 hours time difference from you.

Ciarans' house was nice. They are remodelling, but nothing else had really changed. His parents seemed happy to see me (although his mom doesn't seem too keen on his decision to move to Canada on June 30th.....which I will have to wait and see to actually believe), and dinner was fantastic. I brought over some Canadian popcorn (Ketttle Corn and Orville Reddenbachers Light) and they LOVED it. We watched Casablanca (dont be surprised that I had never seen it before.....YOU KNOW WHO I AM!) and the Maltese Falcon and I had flashbacks of City of Angels during the latter.

Worst. Opening Night. EVER.

actually, hahahahahahahaha the musical pretty much speaks for itself, and as the only person that reads this blog that actually understands that fact, Paul, we share a laugh between ourselves.

I have to go since my lunch is over, but nothing else interesting happened to me this weekend.

...........

bye!

I brought soup for lunch today.....but no can opener!!

2005-03-24T09:08:00.000-05:00

Just to clear things up from yesterday, Crys, no Amy is not married. Way to stick that foot in yer mouth!

hahahahahahahahahahaha

Last I heard she is living with her boyfriend of two and a half years, and I sent her an email but understandably she is busy and can't reply. Le triste.

And Kimmie (hahahahah remember that? I never really partook in that nickname, but Kathy and Tanya sure did!), I hate to break it to you, but you ARE halfway there. All you need to do is make sure that Jeff doesn't switch the birth control on you, a la Carlos in Desperate Housewives (DON'T tell me what happens next, paul!!! Just tell me how far behind I am if THAT was the episode that happened last week, not yesterday. I need to start taping them in Ottawa or suffer withdrawal. Unless you download them for me and bring your laptop to Ottawa. Then we'll have a gay ole time, just like in yonder days)

And I know what you mean by random thoughts, Kim. Please post a list of who's getting married/having babies/doing both so that Crys can get the whole picture. Michelles kid is like, three now, right? Or older. WE. ARE. OLD.

I'm not comparing myself to anyone by any means (unless it comes to weight! then bring on the self-hatred!!), but it's just weird to be a 'grown up' in the 'real world'. For example, I actually love my job! Perhaps I can work in the financial sector in Toronto! (Yonge and Bloor? is that where it is?)

But, in the spirit of Paul Rivait, I am permanently going to be 23 going on 21. Or Eighteen. That was a good year.....kinda.

I cant wait to go home for the summer, although it would be very very possible and quite likely to extend my VISA here, seeing as I do so much for this company that I am working for. But alas, my people need me.

Which brings me to my next point, which you will all receive via email in the coming weeks:

If you wish to journey to the fair city of Ottawa on May 8th to bid me welcome home, you may do so! Everyone who lives out of the city (sorry Kim, Crys, Christine, Allison, Katherine, etc) is welcome to stay at my house and go to Barrymores for a big 80s party Sunday night!! My flight arrives at 7pm, so plan accordingly. For example, it takes 8-10 hours to drive from Windsor, but only 5 or so to drive from T.O.

....you may want to leave a little earlier in order to drop things at my house, bake me a cake, give flowers to my mother, and create huge posters baring the *correct* spelling of my name(s) in order to greet me at the airport. But I'm not implying anything. Email me if your interested, or just look out for the email. I'm thinking of making Paul an official T.O contact? How does that sound, baby? I'm gonna give you my mom's email addy and my home phone number so you can chat directement.

And Kim, the show I was in was 'Animal Farm'. criminel!

So.....in other news.....do I feel guilty for cohersing Ciaran to invite me to join him and his family for Easter?

NO

I mean, I didn't outright ASK him, but I was talking about how I was supposed to go away this weekend by can't due to my extreme lack of funds, and I have a 4-day weekend but no family to spend Easter with and cue the sad puppy-dog eyes.......to no affect.

Then I come down the stairs to exit the gym and he's at the desk and casually mentions that if I want to call around that I'm more than welcome. I tell him to make sure with his mom cuz I'm pretty sure she hates me and he says that shes actually been asking about me!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Friendship WINS!

....except when said ex looked really really cute yesterday because of his shaggy bed-head (due to teaching spinning and abs classes with no product in it) and I just wanted to hug him. But cant, because of the fact that he WORKS there. ugh.

anyway, that about does it for my lunch hour, since I will be heading off early today. Apologies in advance for the lack of posting that will occur in the next four days, since I will have no free outlet, due to my mandatory (ugh. I want money!) days off on Good Friday and Easter Monday.

Ponder this, if you may:

Today is Holy Thursday. 1972 years ago, a guy sat down to have dinner with 12 of his closest friends, knowing full well that one of them would betray him, releasing a series a events that would lead to his certain death. A death that, no matter what you believe, had an impact on the world. Either it saved humanity, it was the miracle of a prophet, it never really happened, or it was a great story that they forced you to read in Religion class at school.

But we eat, drink, work, socialize, and yes, even sleep with people that might one day betray us. Maybe not to the extent of leading to our own demise, but when can you fully trust someone 100% of the time?

My mother would say that there is only one person that is fully deserving of our complete trust, and that He had to go a hell of a long way to earn it. At this moment in time, I'm sure I'm not the only one that agrees with her.

Update of mammoth proportions

2005-03-23T08:41:00.000-05:00

Ok. Here is my life. The past week in a nutshell:

'what the hell am i doing in this bloody great big nutshell?'

Seriously though. We start with the quoteunquote 'confusing' details o my life?!

Ciaran and I are no longer a couple. we are friends. this seems to include lots of texting and seeing each other only at the gym. I'm better friends with my oven dish at home. Not that i'm complaining, because I'm not. He has since started to be a little better in the friend department, which will be explained later on.
Ciaran was supposed to come with me to amsterdam. He is no longer doing this, thus leaving me to explore the netherlands ALONE for the second time in a row. No big deal.
I am going to London, Prague and Vienna on April 19th for a week. I am going solo, which is my own choice. I am finished my employment at the Stock Broker firm on April 15th.

I COME HOME SUNDAY, MAY 8TH 2005!

Marianthi came to visit last week. She arrived Tuesday at noon, and I almost missed her at the airport. I found her, we laughed, and we on our way home. She stayed up the whole day (trouper!), and we went to the gym to say hi to Ciaran and shower, and went to the new Dundrum town centre shopping centre (the largest in Europe until sometime next week when Germany opens a huger one). Wednesday included me working while Mar did the tourist thing, and unfortunately lost her digital camera, having only been purchased the Monday before leaving Toronto. I felt so bad for her! So did everyone in my office. We were to go out that night, but were lazy and went with Gary (landlord) for a drink at the near-by pub.
Thursday was St. Patty's day. It was fun. You know yourself, therefore that is all that I will say about that. Besides, my 'Irish accent' has left since I came in contact with a Canadian again. The surprise of the day was Trish and Amanda from my floor in first year randomly texting me to let me know they were in town. They were partying with my friend Erin, and they have lived in London for the past two months. WEIRD!
Friday Mar and I went to the gym, then shopping. Ate pizza that night and generally pigged out. it was good.
Saturday we did a tour of the South Coast of Dublin, which was nice. It was beautiful weather all the time that she was here, until the day she left! That night we had drinks with Ciaran at Cafe Moda (his favourite little place to eat/hang out). What a nice guy he is!
After a full Irish breakfast on Sunday morning, Mar and I went to her most desired place to be, the Jameson Distillery. Me being the non-whiskey drinker that I am, I did enjoy the tour. My favourite part was when I went to pet the stuffed cat (that watched over the sacks of barley to protect them from rats) and Marianthi went 'mrow!' as soon as I touched the cat, leading me to jump and an older lady behind us to pee her pants from laughing too hard. We then went to a 'fun fair', did some more shopping, then headed back to the house. Ate a little something, go ready, then went for a FANTASTIC meal at an expensive wine bar. went for drinks afterwards, met some guys and made a night of it, until last call. Whoops! Mar hasn't packed yet!
Cab it home, Marianthi attempts to pack but wants to sleep for 5 minutes, so I let her. I call paul, who DOES NOT PICK UP HIS PHONE (what are you doing at 9pm on a Sunday night!!?), then go wake up Marianthi 15 minutes later. She tells me she will get up in 5 minutes. Fair enough, I'll just rest my eyes!

......

I randomly wake up at 4:15am. My alarm was set for 5am. We need to leave the house at 5:30am. MARIANTHI NEEDS TO PACK! Im like, OMG and she's like, 5 more minutes

YOU SAID 5 MORE MINUTES TWO HOURS AGO!!!!

hahahahahah basically, she packed very very well in the given time, and Gary drove us to the airport. Her suitcase was too heavy so she had to unpack two bottles of whiskey, and then she was off. Sad to see her go, yes, but will see her in two months. Plus she was prolly sick of me at that point ;)

Went home, slept for three hours, and went back to work.

Yesterday I went to work, but went home sick an hour and a half later. Slept all day.

Today is another day. Samantha, I hope this clears things up for you, and Aunt Pat please let me know your correct address so I can finally send you your Christmas present. (yes I know, i am a bad, bad godchild)

My best friend from when I was 16, Amy Cairns, had her first child last month, a beautiful baby boy named Aidan. I realize that I am starting the period in my life where my friends will start to get married and have babies, as some have already done.

This kind of depresses me.

Ciaran tells me to cheer up, and that this summer is going to be deadly, and he hopes that cheers me up a bit. It does. he's a good guy.

Apparently he WILL be moving to Toronto in September, after his brothers' wedding. I'll believe it when I see it.

Comments HO!!!!!!

2005-03-11T08:53:00.000-05:00

Since when has humanity resorted to living like mere cattle and random other farm and forest creatures?!?

Since they tinkle on the gosh-darn toilet seat.

Women are NOT supposed to miss the bowl!!! Men, I can understand, as they are sometimes too lazy to lift the fragile seat lid up. But women?!?! If you can’t squat properly OVER the whole of the toilet, then do as I, and create a nest of toilet paper over top the seat, so you can SIT on the loo and properly EXIT into the BOWL.

That being said, how is everyone’s Friday going? The radio station cuts songs…..like, breaks them up for some reason. It’s not editing, but….just making them shorter. Perhaps to fill the air with more commercials or…..ahem….. ‘witty’ announcer banter?

I am not hungry, so therefore am not eating lunch. I will save money by not buying a sandwich and instead will eat the fruit and veg that I have here from yesterday. Tonight I might go to the gym, mainly because I did not bike to work today. But I might be too tired, and I just might want to make dinner for once and sit infront of the tv and watch Desperate Housewives and Las Vegas that I taped a few days ago.

….but I really SHOULD work out. Tomorrow will be a good one, but I cant keep skipping out on this, can I?

….how do I justify this to myself……I wonder……

This one goes out to the one I love...

2005-03-10T12:45:00.000-05:00

On the radio station that we listen to at work, not only do they play the EXACT same songs at approximately the same time every single day, (no matter if it’s the 80s version of ‘jump’ or the killers new song…..not that I’m complaining. Cuz it’s a good song.) but the ‘news’ is barely news at all. Some of it is, but most of it is rubbish. For example, yesterday they RUINED what was going to happen on the new episode of Desperate Housewives by saying that Bri’s son comes out of the closet. I wanted to see that, thankyouverymuch!!!! Taped it yesterday night, so will watch it tomorrow night.
Today they said that the British tourism is going to go up because of the *ridiculous* wedding between Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles, saying that they are selling their pictures on everything from mugs to tea towels. To which I reply, 'why would you want a tea towel with a picture of horse-face and ugly-pants on it?’
My work-mate Barbara (brilliant creature. BRILLIANT) replies, and get ready for this,

“They should sell toilet paper”

Well that was IT. Some of us know (and love!) the Paul cackle, and I certainly did him justice this afternoon. Now my work-mates think I’m crazy, but believe me, they are JUST as nuts as I am. Nutty.

My song at the moment is ‘I Bruise Easily’ by Natasha Bedingfield. She is good. Although her last song, ‘Unwritten’, sucked ass in my opinion.

So that's it for me. Debating whether to cash my paycheque tomorrow or hold on to it until Tuesday, or just deposit it into my bank account and wait a week for it to clear......Perhaps I'll hold onto it. Gonna take a half hour lunch tomorrow, unless Ciaran wants to meet up for lunch, which I highly doubt. Going to the gym tonight, so will defo see him.

Enjoy Margaret Cho, you lucky, lucky WHORES!

Do I really want to leave?

2005-03-09T12:51:00.000-05:00

Henry came in to the office today with some things leftover from the meeting upstairs. He was offering the items to people around me, and then when he approached me he asked, 'cake?'

....

i SO had a flashback! 'COCK et sanweetch?'

....

oh karen skidmore. you ruined the work 'cake' for me forEVER.

so here we are, almost six o'clock and I am going HOME. I ate a tuna wrap, a few pieces of chocolate, and a brownie today, so I am debating going to the gym. I cycled to work, and I had a good workout yesterday, and am planning a big one tomorrow, so tonight I wasn't really going to.....plus, if I go, I have to fight the urge to beg Ciaran to come to Amsterdam.

but not really, as I have been realizing. All I have to do is ring the hostel and beg them to work off my bed. I figure if I do two hours of dishes and general kitchen cleaning that I can pay off my €23 a night bed......right?

we'll see.

Apparently its 'Queen's day' on April 30th and all their beds are booked. I'll be in Rotterdam that night anyway, so I dont really care. I just wish that I could have gone with someone this time, instead of being a loner. Not that I mind, but walking into a coffee shop by yourself is kinda pathetic. I'll buy a book. That'll keep me company.

The other worry that I have is arriving in Prague at 9:15pm and finding the Clown and Bard hostel without getting mugged/raped/killed/verbally assaulted. Not because its Prague, but because it's late at night. Genevieve is uneasy about that, and should have thought harder before booking her flight that late. On the plus side, however, I plan to go to TRL in London and meet Alex Zane (google him.... he works for MTV in London. looks like Jimi........too strange!).

So basically, I was kinda freaking today, which does NOT need to happen at work. They need to be under the illusion that I'm a perfectly normal person that just happens to like working and keeping busy. An 'eager beaver', as I am called.

hehehehehehe.

Just please pray that the money I sent my mom today gets there and is not robbed by the DISGRUNTLED postal worker that served me.

DIS

GRUN

TLED!

.......i'm a little jazz bird, and i'm telling you to be one too.

....

BE ONE!

Everyone BEHAVE! My mother just started reading my blog!!

2005-03-08T08:46:00.000-05:00

Hi mommy!!!!

This morning I was going to cycle in, but then the weather looked like it was going to rain any minute, so I took the bus. My *head* boss sat right beside me and never said anything....prolly cuz she didnt recognize me, or because i never intentionally looked right at her.

whatev. later at the office (i started at 8am. YES!) she told me that i would be working until whenever i felt like it. Which means April 15th. YES!

...i might actually ask them if i can work a few days in may, under the table, doing some filing.....no, not ACTUALLY working under the table, Paul. My mother is reading this. Grossface.

anyway....not much to discuss today. Whilst sleeping (I turn my mobile off a lot now, thankyouverymuch) Ciaran sent me a text. Sent him back one this morning while HE was sleeping. Will see him at the gym tonight. Must ask him if he's still coming to Amsterdam because I need to book some beds. Will be reuinted with my containers tonight! Gosh, how I missed them.

Big gym session tonight.

Im so pretty.

I am a genius, aren't I?

2005-03-07T08:10:00.000-05:00

I went to see an Australian independent film with Vittoria on Friday night. It was called 'Somersault'. Although it had absolutely NOTHING to do with Gina Lori Riley's classes (thank god.....and CHANGE! and CHANGE! and CHANGE!), I really enjoyed it (and CHANGE!). It was about this girl going through this teenage-angst phase, having been forced to move out of her house after hitting on her mom's boyfriend. The movie has your token hott guy (Aussie with dark brown hair, freckles, and blue eyes. Marry me now!), but I found myself relating more to it's message.....if it even WAS the message.

I am so glad that I'm not the person that I used to be. Although I loved university, and made some of the best friends I could ever ask for (and I learned a few things in class.......CHANGE!), looking back on it now, it was also a very destructive time in my life. Perhaps because I was so stressed that I didn't know how to handle it, or maybe I was looking to the wrong people/things for self-worth and acceptance. Either way, I'm grateful for the person I've become over the past five years, and even over the past year. You guys will definitely have to adjust.

For example: one does not have to go out every weekend to have fun. I know some of you (coughcoughPAUL) might find this shocking, but I will not be joining your debauchery every week. Twice a month, at most. But we'll just prolly have people over. Or I will wake up when you bring everyone back to our apartment at 3am, and then I will party until it's time to shower and go to church. hahahahahaha!

Anyway, I got a pleasant surprise on Saturday when the Wool Shed rang me. They had free money for me!!! And that is ALWAYS good. But going there and seeing Kreg was not. Although, I am very very good at ignoring people, and he couldn't help but keep looking in my general direction, as I kept seeing out of the corner of my eye. What a dick.

So the free money was vacation pay, which I quickly bought a beer with, and then took a taxi home with as well. Like I said, not much of a huge party animal anymore. I'd rather just chill at home (well, not MY house....clearly.) or with friends. Which I did on Saturday, but then they were all going out.

I slept for 14 hours that night.

My internal clock rarely lets me sleep past 8:30am without a brief wakeup call, and so I awoke Sunday morning at 8:12am. note the accuracy. I pondered getting up, or staying in bed for another hour or so and then going to spinning class at 10:30, or just sleeping til my alarm at 11:30. Bed called, I answered. Her voice sounded so sweet! My alarm went off, I turned it OFF. Woke up (because I debated, in my half-slumbered state, that it was either 2:30 or 3 and I had to get to the gym to shower before it closed at 4pm) and it was 2:45. wow. Got my act together and went to the gym, even though I debated leaving it until this morning, but decided not to, since Ciaran was prolly at work at 7am today. Didn't get the phone call promised to me this weekend, so I simply do not care anymore. Not that I ever did? That's another discussion entirely on it's own.

Met this random girl named Elizabeth on the bus Friday night that invited me over for tea last night. I went, we had fun, and she burned me the second disc of Living in Clip. FINALLY! After it was stolen from my car five years ago!!!!

She is nice.

whoops. you didn't just read that. mostly because it was EDITED!!!!!

.............and CHANGE!

and now the joke is officially dead.

...
...
..
.

or IS it?

I am not hungry. Why am I eating?!?

2005-03-04T08:40:00.000-05:00

Sometimes people just aren’t at the same place. Sometimes one person has a lot of growing up to do, and realizing who they are in the world. Sometimes they are at a crossroads, trying to figure out which direction their life will take them in, and if they can even decide between the vast choices that they are faced with.
Sometimes two people give each other what was needed at the time, even though it may not have been realized until after the fact. Sometimes you meet someone and grow in their presence, and they in yours.
Sometimes you teach someone something that they never expected to learn, and open their eyes in a way that they had never imagined possible. Sometimes you gain patience and virtue at the hands of someone else’s misgivings.

Sometimes you hold out, waiting for it to get better, and it never does.

Sometimes other people just have more issues than your own self (if that's EVER possible!). Sometimes they need to be left alone to deal with it.
Sometimes people say one thing, but mean another. Or say something and then an hour later say the opposite, or change their minds. Sometimes people get hurt. But why? Because they put themselves out there? Because they thought that this time, it would be different? Because they believed the myth that they grew up listening to in fairy tales and story book endings? Sometimes people get mad at themselves more than at the other person, even when it's no-ones fault. Sometimes you give yourself an ulcer from too much stress. That's bad. Don't do that.
Sometimes you miss someone, even when they're standing right beside you. Sometimes you're with someone, but really you're miles and miles away.

Sometimes you love someone just to pass the time. Or sometimes, it's to divert your attention from other aspects of your life that you need to focus on rather than keep ignoring. Sometimes you just want too much too fast. Or rather, you hope for too much too quickly.

Sometimes you can’t make it...the best you can do is to fake it.

Sometimes.....

Sometimes there's nothing else to say.

An apple is half a point? YES!!!

2005-03-03T08:24:00.000-05:00

I went to the hospital yesterday. It was a good time:

Got up at 6:05am….yes…..AM, to make my lunch (chickpeas and cucumber and red onion in a tortilla, with salsa….YUM! Looked on the bus schedule and it said the first bus into town was at 7:10am. Kool, I will leave the house at 7am. Left the house at 6:55am, realized I had looked at the wrong schedule and the bus came at 6:50 and 7:05. Luckily, made the 7:05 bus and made it into town. Caught the bus to the hospital…well, close ENOUGH to the hospital but I still have to walk 10 minutes to actually GET there. Did I mention it was snowing? When I left the house it was these big, white, soft, fluffy flakes, but when I was walking to the hospital it was these hard little pieces of tiny hail-like substance. People were walking around with umbrellas, which still amuses me, as the snow melts AS SOON AS IT HITS YOUR HEAD!

But I digress.

The roads were really bad, with snow built-up and no salt put down, as Ireland as a country does not have even ONE snowplow or sand-putting-down-on-the-roads machine. However, the sidewalks were icy, but someone had managed to put some salt on some of them. I am racing past people, walking very fast because am I used to walking on slippery sidewalks in my runners? You bet yer sweet bippy I am!
Get to the hospital at ten past eight, which is perfect because check-in starts at 8:15….or so I thought. Turns out it doesn’t start til half past, but because the roads were so bad the lady doesn’t get in until 8:45. I am trying to sleep, my appointment is at 9am, and why did I have brekkie before leaving the house cuz now I am starting to get hungry.
Sign in, go give my card, then at 9:15 am told I need to go get x-rays. Kool. Get the x-rays (after the worst mispronounciation EVER of my name: Lemenex. Where is the ‘N’ in Lemieux?!?! WHERE?!?! Please show it to me, you stupid moron. Go back downstairs, eventually see the doctor (who is cute, and remembers me! Yum), he pokes around my hand, there’s still a sore spot near the bottom of my thumb/wrist area, so up I go for more x-rays! The people up there are like, ‘weren’t you up here earlier?’

Yes. Yes I was.
Bring em back down, Doc tells me I can go, and by the way you had a bad sprain.

This hospital changes its’ mind more than it changes its’ underpants……if hospitals in fact WORE underpants.

So the fractured wrist and all the pain and the bullshit that I went through the last month was a dream? I think not. Anyway, he’s the cute doctor, not I. So I don’t argue, I just go on my way.
Ring work at 11:30 saying I’m done and if they want me to come in, give me a ringy-ding on my mobile (not the words I used….but damn-well should have)
Mobile rings ten minutes later. Boss inquires how it went, we discuss, and then I ask her if she wants me to come in. ‘Take the day off if you want’, she replies. Don’t need to ask me twice! (Although I need the money. But I won’t be drinking until Mar comes so that’ll save me a few quid at least)
Had a relaxing day at home watching the programmes I taped from the past week. Had a nap from 4-7pm, which apparently tired me out more because I could NOT fall asleep when I went to bed at 9:15pm.

Which brings us to today. Got up at 6:45 to make split red lentils, which I STILL don’t know how to really make because they were kinda mushy….but I’ll eat ‘em anyway, and a fresh fruit salad!! YUM YUM YUM. I think I might take a cooking class in T.O, because I really love to cook. It makes me feel good, I seem to be good at it, and it puts a smile on my face when other people enjoy my cooking. Compliments = yes!

P.S…….when a country star and an R&B star do a duet, it’s gonna SUCK. I’m sorry. It just is!

So that is all.....attempting to take half hour lunch to try and get back a half hour so my total is 30 this week. Meeting with Ciaran tonight? Dunno. I *think* so, but with him, ya never know! ;)

hehehehehehe LATER

Drama Queen? who.....ME?

2005-03-01T08:29:00.000-05:00

Happy March the First to everyone!!!

As you *may* be able to tell, I am in a good mood today. I don't know why, since I have to bike home after work, and yesterday proved to be a heart-attacking-inducing good time for the whole family. Turns out i used to be FIT, therefore ABLE to ride bike home half an hour uphill. ugh.

Anyway blew off gym last night to watch 24 that was taped since last week, and then the one that was taped THIS week. And Top Buzzer. Top Buzzer is a show on MTV about these two stoners that live in London and sell weed. Its a good show because one of the guys is hott hott HOTT!!! (I don't know his name....but he was in the British tv programme 'Teachers')

Made gorgeous roasted veggies that I had for lunch today, and Ciaran was supposed to ring me last night. I had my phone off, and when I turned it on, no call. As im about to board the train for slumberland, he sends me a text asking me if im home. anyway, we talk and i have to go at 9pm because i'm clearly falling asleep.

I dont want him to feel as though he needs to ring me everynight. I have thought and worried and philosophized and been a genuine 'girl about this whole relationship and it is exhausting! right, paul?!?! crys, you feel me here? anyone else who's normal? Kim, i KNOW you've been there. so, basically, we ride on the wave of happiness when around him, and then wait it out until april 28th when we go to amsterdam, and then another month or so until he comes to Toronto, and then we can have an adult relationship. hahahahahaha!

its just so hard being out of your parents house for 4 years and then dating someone who still lives with theirs. And, being in my situation, apparently I do as well. So I cant wait. the next two months will fly, especially cuz mar's coming in TWO WEEKS! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

hmm....i still have 20 mintues left on my break....might look at accomodation in Rotterdam, cuz i think it might be fun to do another city whilst in the Netherlands.. plus, i wanna see tulips =)

Kill Me.

2005-02-28T08:13:00.000-05:00

My head is pounding. I am starving. I need to SLEEP.

No, I am not hungover. I'm just tired. This weekend was crazy, but at least I got to bed at 9:30pm last night. I just need more sleep, but I need to go to the gym. It turns out that the gym is more important to me than sleep, and therefore my well-being. But that's what happens when you gain 55 pounds and are the fattest ass in the world.

Ironically, my boyfriend likes me the way I am. BUT I DON'T!!! I dont even want to SEE him this week, but he has the week off, so its a perfect opportunity for us to see each other. READ: Walk home. Cuz I need to lose weight big time.

So basically, life sux for Genevieve today. How y'all doing?

I’m French, why do you think I have this outRAgeous accENT ?

2005-02-26T16:42:00.000-05:00

I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries! Now go away or I will taunt you a second time!

....cue the cows.

Brother Maynard: Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

what? you've never suckeled on a fake teet?

2005-02-26T15:04:00.000-05:00

i am at tony and eds right now. they are two heterosexual males that talk about sex and boobies all the time. they are gross. we are going to make chicken tikka masala and veggies and then eat ice cream and watch monty python and the holy grail and then life of brian

turns out ciaran pissed his mom off yesterday by having me stay over. i KNEW they were not going to be happy, but anyway. he's laying low for the next few days, which screws the plans of us watching the 6 nations rugby match tomorrow (ireland vs england baby!!!) and having goodfathers pizza and then me staying over. watev. i'll just drink with the boys tonight and chill tomorrow. i have a lot of taped tv shows to watch. lol

booked the tix for amsterdam today. he is excited to go. so am i.

ew. the boys are talking about huge hairy white asses and how tony got some last night. is it good to be friends with hetero boys?

....i dunno. like i said, they are gross.

whatev. lets have a drink!

Thank Gsus Its FRIDAY!!!!

2005-02-25T08:36:00.000-05:00

Last night I was so sick, because I ate crap all day and then went to spinning class
and then went to an abs class, and both were taught by ciaran, who kicked our asses.
i felt so ill it was all it took to keep me off chocolate and pastries for the next little while. at least for the next three weeks. marianthi doesn't like fat friends. =)

I took my lunch break a little early so that I could walk 15 minutes to AIB to cash my cheque, then queue for another 15 minutes, then get told that my Garda I.D isnt *actually* considered identification. I think the guy realized that I was just about to stir things up a bit when he was like, just sign the back of your cheque and remember for next time

THANK YOU, KIND SIR!

so now when I go out to dinner with Ciaran tonight I can show him the wad of bills in my pocket. yum!

There is nothing much to report....I will be online until my boss comes back from lunch because my project is finished and I am awaiting further instruction.

But this looking forward to things with Ciaran and wanting to see Ciaran is freaking me out big-time. Usually, it leads to major disappointment, where myself and guys are concerned. But I have all these plans circulating in my head for when he comes to canada!!! .......i think I need to take a step back and slow down. But at least its now, a month in, and not how it usually is.....a week in. hahahahaha

thats the good part of him being sick for the first few weeks of our relationship, even though (as you may recall, since I have now edited the posts for fear of him eventualy seeing) I was not the happiest camper during that time. but its better that way. Plus, he has the next week off work, so I think he wants to me see more of him. Thats GOOD! =)

He makes me happy, and I feel safe when Im around him. He's comfortable and nice and cute and sweet and he's different from anyone that I usually go for (i.e. not as ASShole)

......smitten. thats the word.

It's not hard to fall/When you float like a Canonball

2005-02-24T12:27:00.000-05:00

oh Damien Rice how you speak the truth.

I have spent the better part of the afternoon daydreaming about Ciaran and whether or not he will come to Amsterdam with me. I hope that he will and wont get freaked out about me asking him to go on a mini-break.....

and I need to clarify that when we will be in bed together, it will be at his parents house and TOTALLY PG13

just need to clarify that so there are no rumours going around in my family, Aunt Doris ;) hahahahah just kidding !

plus, I told my mom already. She asked if I did anything.....naughty. except that wasnt the word she used.....I think she used the work saucy. hahahahahahaha

ugh. i can't believe i have to go to the gym tonight. My goal is to make Ciaran blush while he teaches the spinning class I will go attempt to take.

MUAHAHAHAHAHA*snort*AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Bank of Ireland can suck it long and suck it hard

2005-02-24T08:46:00.000-05:00

I lodge my AIB paycheque into my account FRIDAY and am told that since its a different bank, it will take three days to clear. Piss me off, but fine. I still have €90.

Yesterday go to check if its in my account, and it is! Cant access it, though. Hmph. Go to Marks and Spencers (God's supermarket) and pay with my VISA. right.

Go on my lunch hour today (which will explain the short post, as I only have 20 minutes to type!!!!) and can't get money out. ARGH! Queue for ten minutes only to be told that it still hasnt gone through and could take up to 5 days. I go to Customer Service to a lady that does not look impressed. Believe me honey, neither am i. Don't Start.

Am told it takes 5 days, to which I reply about my 'pissed off landlord that expected his rent on Friday when it was due and not a week late' (Gary in fact doesn't care, he knows i'm good for it....whenever) and create a fush so I get my hundred quid.

WHAT LOSERS! I am going to AIB tomorrow and opening an account SOLELY for the purpose of cashing my damn CHEQUE on time!

LE GRRRR!

anyway, Ciaran rang me before and after said bank fiasco and clearly was amused at my pissed-off-ness. I really like this guy.

That being said, I am going to bring up the issue of maybe going to Amsterdam together? Especially since we wont be seeing each other for a whole month. I am going to bring up this issue whilst cuddling in bed, therefore if he says no I can punch him or fart under the covers and hold them over his head (ah the Cselfkos and their marital bliss.....how do you spell their last name? paul?)

hopefully he will say yes. Otherwise, I would SO go by myself! I already went in November by myself, and had a blast. it would just be better going with someone...Alison, Ciaran, your mom, whoever.

Excited for dinner tomorrow, since Ciaran is taking me somewhere of his choice. Will ring Ed later today and explain situation.....sure he will understand.

I am so mad that I am eating cookies. They are good, but very very wrong for me right now. I need to go get more, excuse me